We are costumers too!!! Larger Women and Costuming

I was browsing my Facebook feeds this afternoon and saw someone had re-posted a picture of a Doctor Who cosplayer, who like me is a bit on the larger side.  In the re-post, someone had posted a few derogatory comments towards the said cosplayer/costumer because of her size. Several of my friends, jumped to her defense and said that she was beautiful and that it was one of the better made TARDIS costumes she had ever seen.  I happen to agree with my friends because larger women can and should be able to costume what they want as long as they feel comfortable in the costume that they are wearing.

I have two friends who are larger women who costume as Yarna, a female Tusken Raider,  a Jedi and a Jawa and when they go out they have fun and strut their stuff.  Not only that I think that they are beautiful in what they wear and strutting their stuff out there.  I have other friends who are big and costume in a variety of genre's including Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Doctor Who and Star Wars.  

For me, I have seen a lot of derogatory comments towards larger female costumers.   I think the general consensus among people who are purists is that women that are larger like me, shouldn't costume at all.  Granted, there are times where I am on the fence about this, because I have no self-esteem because of my weight issues.  I had bought the Royal Guard to hide my hips and my obesity problem because I was too embarrassed to come out of my shell and there are times where I don't want to come out because of my weight.

{Photo by Chad Pulliam,  January 2013)

Yet, let me speak about my Padme' and how people view her.  Natalie Portman, who played Padme  ' in the prequels is pretty tiny and it's obvious from my pictures that I'm not tiny.  I even at one point in my life weighed 320 pounds, right now I'm sitting at around 200 and still dropping because of lapband surgery in 2011.  I don't regret my decision but I wanted to do an Episode III costume for the longest time and because I'm a girl, Padme' was the logical choice.  Not to mention, I wanted to hide my weight, so what better way than to do a fake baby bump using what I had left over from surgery.  However, most geeks associate pregnant Padme' with being extremely tiny while carrying twins.  It took a lot of guts for me to decide to do this costume but in the end I ended up doing Mustafar Padme so that way I could see and be out from the guard.  It has taken me a while to get used to the costume because what I've been hiding for so long is now exposed for all to see.  Not only that with my short hair I have to wear a wig which is awkward for me.

The first time I wore the costume out in the open I wanted to hide because people don't recognize her. I think it's because the costume was only in there for 30 seconds.  Not only that, a fat girl playing a skinny pregnant girl with twins?  I really wanted to hide at the checkers game when I wore her but since then I've forced myself to wear her not because I wanted to, but to get over my fear of socially awkward situations, and to get over the stigma of being overweight and a costumer.  A lot of people that I know, like Padme'.  I've been told by several of my friends that I pull her off, but what about if I went to a major con?  DragonCon?  Celebration?  Would the majority of the Rebel Legion or 501st like her or hate her?  I mean I know right now I'm about 80 pounds more than Natalie Portman and even with the weight loss surgery I couldn't get down to her weight because of all the extra skin that I have left over.  I think the response that most people would have with me, would be to ignore me and that's fine i'm used to it or that is the ugliest Padme' I have ever seen.  *sighs*

 Now I am about to start on a costume that I've wanted to do since I was a little girl...Luke Skywalker's Endor Costume from Return of the Jedi.  Yes, it will be up to Rebel Legion standards and yes I am going to be a bit awkward in it because I'm heavier than Mark Hamill and I have female equipment up top but I am going to hide that with the Endor Poncho and use makeup to conceal some of my more feminine traits.  Yes, I am still on the fence about it because I'm a girl and overweight but I'm leaning more and more towards it.  I gave it up last year and sold most of the stuff I bought for it because of my weight and personal self issues but now my friends are encouraging me to do it.

In closing:


Not all of us have model bodies that would allow us to wear a Slave Leia or a skimpy outfit.  I hate that society and certain strands of the geek culture have labeled the fat costumers as ugly and shouldn't costume at all.  I know with my body I will never ever wear a Slave Leia costume, my weight won't allow it and it's not a costume that I'm interested in even if I was skimpy and pretty.   However, I will say that the more girls that I know that are like me, we tend to choose costumes that fit our bodies rather than make fun of it.  Again, Yarna, female Tusken Raiders, Episode III Padme' and Royal Guards are prime examples of what we wear.  In addition, for me, I have completed an Amy Pond costume from Doctor Who, the Day of Moon/Impossible Astronaut plaid outfit and I have gotten complimented on it.   The only reason why I did that costume is that she was "slightly pregnant" in that Episode although it was her ganger for the majority of that first half of that season.  Still, I have fun in it and I think that's what big girls are out to have.  Fun.  We costume like other women for fun and we find costumes to fit us and our shape that we like and love.  

Am I saying love us?  No.  I am saying accept us because we are here to stay.  We love costuming as much as the skinny con chick.  We love all the sci-fi, medieval, fantasy and other genre's as much as the next person.  We know how to wear costumes that suit us and fit our bodies, we like to have fun as much as any other geek.

Are you now or have you ever been a geek?

One of the things that was brought up at the panel a few weeks ago at Illogicon was fake geeks vs. real geeks.  So I've been questioning the past few days what makes me a geek?  Am I a geek in the truest form of geekdom or am I wannabe?  I mean after all I have seen plenty of blogs pop up with female geeks in mind as well as YouTube videos.  I see them all posted in some way, shape, or form in my Facebook feeds all my genre's that I love and then some.  Not to mention, I feel that some of those videos exploit women but I will save it for another blog...so onward to what makes me a geek or doesn't make me a true geek.

Let's see...what makes me a geek or in my mind makes me a geek.  One, I have a ferocious love for Star Wars....I mean I've only been collecting since I was young and there were years when I was on a dry streak because I didn't have money but now I'm collecting figures that interest me.  Not to mention the simple fact that I dress up as two Star Wars characters and am planning more.   I also like Star Trek and love all the original series movies, the TNG movies, as well as the new genre...also I like to catch Next Generation episodes on BBC America when I get a chance.  It takes me back to my childhood and my first ever episode of Star Trek TNG:  The Best of Both Worlds (I had nightmares for weeks!).


I love watching Stargate SG-1 re-runs,  Being Human,  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Supernatural, Smallville and Charmed. As well as other Sci-Fi shows, I love watching Comic Book Men, and the Toy Collector just to see what other people have.  I read tons of Star Wars and Doctor Who books as well as Star Trek books by William Shatner.  I also love reading Star Wars: Insider as well as The Doctor Who magazine.  I also listen to the Big Finish Audios of Doctor Who, specifically the ones with the Eighth and Seventh Doctor.  If I'm on a long road trip I will listen to the Audios and just geek out to the soothing sounds of Paul McGann's voice and although the 96 movie didn't give Paul a fair chance and is considered to be the worst thing, Paul McGann makes up for it in his Audio Dramas which I love!!!


I also like going to Cons seeing all the neat stuff.  Now granted as I've stated in Blog 5 and in earlier blogs I do nothing but hang around at cons.  I only buy stuff if it's Doctor Who or Star Wars related at a reasonable price as well as X-Men Phoenix stuff.  Other than that I hang out with my friends, take pictures and watch everyone else.  There are no comic book stores around Goldsboro so I go into Books-A-Million or BAM as I call it to read some comics or graphic novels but the only one I currently hold onto right now is The Dark Phoenix saga and my friend Jim from the UK is sending me the complete Secret Wars to add to my collection.

Gaming?  See the previous blogs for my feelings on that.  I only have Eight X-Box Games and one that I play now and then.

Now for those of you that don't know me very well, I'm a Second Grade teacher and I love what I do. I have a Yoda that I keep on my desk and I wear my Celebration 6 lanyard along with a mini-Lego Anakin around my neck with my name tags.  I take my Ipod into school and I end up playing music from Harry Potter, Star Wars, Superman or any one of my favorite geekdoms.  Lately, I've been favoring Shuttle Tydirium Approaches Endor to start my mornings.  During Silent Reading time, I will sit down with my kids and read from my latest Star Wars book.  When teaching, I randomly pull out tricks and sayings from Doctor Who,  Star Wars, Star Trek, and Stargate, not to mention Avengers.   My teaching assistant and colleagues think I'm weird but yes I let my geek flag fly at school and yes there are times when there are uncomfortable situations at school that I hum the Dallas theme or Imperial March.    If I could during lessons, I wish I could dress up as a Doctor or Harry Potter or someone to teach lessons.  My kids do learn from me and think it's cool or are totally lost when I go off on a geek tangent to teach a concept.

Just today, my counselor that I see from time to time for other issues said that I should've been an actor.  Perhaps, she's right!! Also, I am in love with The Big Bang Theory and if I were to name myself as a character, I'd be a Leonard for sure, with a slight twist of Sheldon in there.  I tend to go off on random tracks but mostly I'm Leonard.

I also have to say when I go Geek.  I tend to let the quirkiness come out and it's taken years to develop that quirkiness that I think a lot of people like about me.  Seriously, I was at an event the other night doing Padme' and I was letting the quotes fly and the geekdom come out.  There are pictures of me hugging both Vader and Anakin, which the Doctor Who geek was screaming Paradox!!! When I do my guard, or troop as my guard I also pull Weeping Angel on people, by moving when they are not looking.  It really gets one of our Vader's going when I do that and thus, I have earned my nickname Stealthy" or Stealthy One" before it was cool.

However, there are those that would say that I'm not a geek because I don't regularly go to Comic Book Stores or fit the attractiveness scale.  Also, because I don't have every thing displayed from my Star Wars collection in my apartment.  First of all, Goldsboro doesn't have a Comic Book store, second  I am overweight by 50-60 pounds, I will not be squeezing into a Slave Leia anytime soon or a Phoenix Comic Costume, though I am considering X3 Dark Phoenix at the moment, and third my apartment is really small so I can't display like I want to.  Even my 40 some odd Vader's/Anakin's can't be displayed not unless I get rid of some of my furniture and really I love my Lazy-boy chairs and couches.

You know, I will say this and this is from the panel.  Being a geek is being comfortable in your own skin and willing to fight for what you believe in.  So I'll close with a quote from Fox News, slightly modified.... "I'll report. You decide!"

Has it been ten years already?

Where does the time go?

It has been ten years since I joined the 501st and so much has changed for me in terms of my geekdom, personal and public life.  Looking back, I am so thankful that I have met and trooped with some wonderful people and have made some wonderful friends.  I had bought Guard 1, on a whim on EBay after seeing one of my friends in Illinois post pictures of his FX Stormtrooper online and through Fan Force.  Granted, I had no clue what I was doing at the time, because Guard 1 looked so awful that I refer to it as my Star Wars Holiday Special and any pictures that remain of it I want to burn.

Yet, it was the start of a wonderful journey that has taken me through three guard costumes and now has branched out to Rebel Legion and Doctor Who costumes.  Granted, ten years ago I was hovering around 300 pounds and on the brink of self destruction and coming to grips that yes, I was a geek, I was living at home at the time and I had no major plans other than transferring to a four year university and getting a degree in Social Studies Education.

Flash Forward ten years, third Royal Guard and my favorite,  teaching Second Grade, just about to finish my Masters in Elementary Education, expanded into an Episode III Padme', Amy Pond and looking at doing a Shadow Guard, Biker Scout, or TK as my next Imperial Costume and a Captain Janeway, Season 4-7 costume.    Life is pretty good and I'm so thankful and blessed to have such wonderful friends and family that have helped me around.

A few weeks ago at the Augusta Riverhawks event, a friend of mine from the 501st Tom Gardner, asked me what my most memorable troops were and what are the ones that were the worst.  Basically, what stood out in my mind.  I've always enjoyed Symphony Events, seeing that I love music and that I love anything John Williams or Jerry Goldsmith.  The charity ones are also the ones that I love the most as I enjoy helping others, cons again see some of my earlier blogs on that.  I do enjoy going to them but I don't participate much, parades definitely love those.

The most memorable are the death troops (2 or more miles) at parades.  In fact the Death Troops are the most memorable.  My first Death Troop I marched for two miles in the rain, sleet and snow with Garrison Tyranus in 2009,  The most recent death troop was the Laurinburg Christmas Parade 2012, where I did my guard and thinking we were going to be marching four blocks at most we ended up marching three miles and my neck has been a mess ever since and overly sensitive.  That's why for those of you that know me I haven't worn my guard yet this year because my neck is extremely sensitive due to an incident back in June.  However, I am planning on wearing the guard at the Carolina Gamer's Summit and taping my neck so that way I don't get too uncomfortable (also planning on doing a repaint since I have a bad chip near the point at the bottom).

So why troop?  Because it's fun.  At my first troop back in 2003 I didn't have a lot of fun because I was socially awkward and shy.  Now, it's not a big surprise that I openly talk and come out of my comfort zone to talk to people.  I'm slowly coming out of my shell with my new Padme costume and slowly but surely I'm getting used to her and coming out of my shell and out of hiding as Tom has put it.  To be honest, I'm enjoying Padme a lot more than the guard because my face isn't hidden from the world.  Whereas, the guard I am so used to hiding it's not even funny.

I do want to take this moment to say that yes, my costuming and being a member of the 501st is here to stay.  I enjoy it and hanging out with all my friends and look forward to more years of trooping with my friends and extended family.  I want to say thank you to the Carolina Garrison, for making my tenth anniversary with the 501st Legion memorable at the Riverhawks Game a few weeks ago.  I also want to say thank you to the Legion Founder and his wife,  Albin and Kathy Johnson for allowing me to hang with them for a few hours on the drive back from Augusta and for all the kind words and geek moments we had at Lunch.  I am really grateful to have such good friends and cool people to hang around with.

On another note, I got to troop again last night in Padme' at the Fayetteville FireAntz game.  Though the team lost we had a great time and I inducted a few new people into trooping and the expectations set forth by the 501st.  One person was a new member and already a great friend, Gene Peacock, who is from Goldsboro and the other two CapeFear Stromtrooper who is finishing his TK, and Steve Deeluw who is finishing his Darth Maul and wore my guard last night.  I also had a great time hanging out with Chad Pulliman aka Obi-Wan, Ryan Ricks, Bill Lane, Ernie and Carolyn Ruffin, Cory, Tom Gardner, and Ken Jordan all of whom I've trooped with for years.

It was a great time, a lot of pictures were taken and I can't wait to troop again with these people.  YOU ALL ROCK!!!  Again, for a ten year anniversary year this year is going to be the best!!!


Here's to another ten years of doing what I love to do!!!


-Jane

Girls are Gamers Too!!!

As I continue on with this journey into blogdom, I wanted to point out that girls can be gamers too!! I know plenty of geek girls out there that play video games, role-play Dungeons and Dragons and other table top games, role-play online (I do) and play games all the time.  That doesn't make us any less geeky than the guys, in fact gaming for girls has become popular in the past few years.

I'm a gamer, though not in the traditional sense of the word gamer.  Yes, I own an X-Box and though I only own about Eight games, I don't play them religiously 24/7, 365 days a year.  I play maybe four hours a week because of the demands of work or that I'm divided between Facebook or 501st events.   When I do play, I play Skyrim, Oblivion, and Halo.  However, my area of gaming is role playing online through paragraph style role-playing on Gaia, Yahoo or Messenger.

Surprised?  I'm not because I've been role-playing online since 1996/1997 when the Titanic room first popped up in Yahoo Chat!! As well as the Star Trek rooms and though I started with one lining, I managed to develop my role-playing skills by watching others post detailed paragraphs and since I"m a stickler for details, I soon caught on and became one of the few females that role-played religiously.  I role-played everything from Titanic, Star Trek, Star Wars,  Sailor Moon, Pokemon',  Power Rangers, to Marvel and now Doctor Who (which I currently role-play as the Ninth Doctor on Gaia).   

 When I role-play  there are no dice, no game masters, it's turned based, either on the room order or a predetermined order that players agree on.  During the Marvel Days (2000-2007), I role-played such characters as Rogue,  Storm,  Evolution Storm, Jean Grey/Phoenix, The Phoenix Entity,  Betty Ross Banner and even dared to try Dr Robert Bruce Banner.  My posts and especially my intros were so detailed that they ended up being at least four to five paragraphs and for Banner the Hulk outs into The Incredible Hulk were at least nine and very detailed.  Ah, those were the days when I would ache coming in from my High School and College Classes to escape online and go into a detailed game with my online friends.  

I currently still roleplay online mostly Doctor Who with people on Gaia, it's more forum based role-play but still it brings back a lot of memories.  

There are girls that I know who play video games religiously and could out snipe or play boys on games such as Halo, or Assassin's Creed.  That's ok, those girls rock and aren't afraid to be gaming geeks.  There are also girls that play Dungeons and Dragons or some other table top based role play and that's ok too because it makes them happy!  I think one of the things that people forget is that girls play games just to be happy and escape from the pressures of everyday life.  There are also girls that are looking for fellow male geeks to share their gaming passion.  Take in point the latest episode of Geek Love on IGN online, the latest person to be featured on there is a female gaming geek who is also a teacher like me!! Game on girlfriend!! I hope she finds her gaming geeky match and she rocks because she plays games and also teaches at the same time!!!

It's ok for girls to play games because it offers us a chance to escape our normal lives.  I will say it's ok for us to go to cons and play alongside the boys.  Gaming at least full time video gaming isn't my cup of tea but that's ok, I admire the girls that do.  I just have too much to do with my professional life as a teacher to play adamantly and I should've mentioned that growing up as a young child I didn't have a NES or a Super Nintendo so it doesn't bother me that I don't play for long hours at a time because I rather spend time reading a book or role-playing Doctor Who online.  

However, Kudos to you gaming girls of the world!! You totally rock the geek world by playing your games and so GAME ON!!!

Damsels in Distress? I don't think so!!!

Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I was watching Star Trek: The Motion Picture and started to think about how the "damsel in distress" moniker has been dropped and women are becoming more independent and mainstreamed into the different geek genres.   Granted, it's taken a long time for it to happen but we are being heard in many of our favorite franchises and we have come a long way from being that damsel in distress.

Yes, at a time and there are still times today, when women fill in the princess role of being queens and princesses looking for their Prince Charming.  However, this common stereotype has been changing in the past few decades, and if you really think about it, going as far back as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.  True, Dorothy was lost from Kansas, and she had four allies but really she faced dangers that back in 1939 ordinary women weren't facing because of the stay at home mentality.  Not only that, Dorothy managed to kill two Wicked Witches, one by accident and the other by trying to save the Scarecrow from being burned to a crisp.  I don't know about you, but that is a far cry from the damsel in distress, and the mentality that women are weak and worthless.

Fast forward to the 1960's and the original series of Star Trek, Nichelle Nichols broke the racial barrier by not only playing the first African American based officer in the series, but also sharing a kiss with William Shatner onscreen that was considered at the time to be taboo.  Nichelle, plotted the course for future women, as her character Lt. Uhura held her own against the males of the Enterprise crew and though she was given a typical job as communications officer, she paved the way for women to become the forefront of a new cultural movement in geekdom.  In addition, she helped heal tensions between a world that was torn by racial problems and was on the brink of a nuclear war with Russia.  Kudos, to you Mrs. Nichols for laying the foundations for the rest of us!!!

Then a few years later we get Princess Leia, one of the most iconic characters in the Sci-Fi Genre, watching her planet get destroyed, leading a Rebellion against a tyrannical Empire, falling in love with a Scoundrel and finding her long lost brother.  We also got leading ladies such as Marion Ravenwood and Sarah Connor who also took the lead, going from damsels in distress to holding it down with the guys.  We also got such heroines as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ellen Ripley in films, as well as Selene from the Underworld series.

On the small screen, I could go on for hours about leading ladies who are not damsels persay but I want to talk about who has come out in recent years that I admire their characters.  For example, in 1994 Star Trek once again made history by appointing it's first female Captain to the franchise.  Captain Kathryn Janeway which I admired for her toughness and perseverance in trying to get her crew home.  She stood toe to toe with Kazon,  Borg, Malon and forged alliances with a species more deadlier than the Borg, 8472.  All while commanding a ship stranded light years from home.  A few years later, we get heroines such as Samantha Carter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Version),  Va'la Mal Doran, Fred "Winifred" Burkle, Willow Rosenburg and others who have graced our TV Screens with their presence.  I really want to take this moment to highlight Fred from Angel whom at first was a damsel in distress having been trapped in a demon dimension for years before Angel's team rescued her from that demon dimension.  Over the course of the next few seasons, she evolved from the damsel to a full blown hero, and even as she was infected by the demon Illyria, she did not become a damsel she fought it with grace, and strength that I haven't seen before in a TV character.  At the same time, I was mad that she was killed off but that's the brilliance of Joss Whedon, he keeps you guessing and rooting for your heroes till the end.

I also want to point out that even in older shows like Doctor Who (one of my favorite shows)  the role of the companion is also changing.  Yes, The Doctor has had both male and female companions, but over the course of the travels and the many different companions, the companion role has evolved from being a damsel to a hero in their own right.  A good example of this would be in the Eighth Doctor audio dramas with his companions Charlotte "Charley" Pollard and later on Lucie Miller.  Both companions, were damsels but over the course of the audios held their own against Daleks, Cybermen, and many of the Doctor's enemies while keeping The Doctor in line.  The same could be said of the classic Who companions, mainly Dorothy "Ace" McShane,  Peri Brown,  Sarah-Jane Smith, Rose Tyler, Donna Noble,  Grace Holloway,  Martha Jones,  Amy Pond, and now more recently Clara Oswin Oswald.  

The role of the female has also changed in the books, granted they may have taken backseats to their male counterparts but they could still hold their own and were far from being the damsel in distress. Arwen from Lord of the Rings is a prime example.  She held her own against the Nazgul while protecting Frodo.  In comics, Jean Grey whom, is my favorite comic hero has faced death and risen from it several times, Storm, Rogue, Batgirl, Supergirl and others have all held their own and have proven over and over that they are far from being the damsels in distress.

As I close off this blog, I firmly believe that the role of women in all genres is changing from a secondary role of being the damsel to the full out hero that men have been for decades.  It'll be interesting as women come into their own in the geek world how the role of women in geekdom as well as in media continues to change. I truly believe that women will continue to make a huge impact in the world as well as our favorite media and television shows.

" ....and with the power of conviction.  There is no Sacrifice"  - Pat Benatar "Invincible"

Till next time true believers!

-Jane

Illogicon 2013

Over the years, I have gone to a few local cons in North Carolina including StellarCon, ConCarolinas, Crystal Coast Con and the Carolina Gamer's Summit.  I have not had the opportunity to make it out to the comi cons in Charlotte, Raleigh, or Asheville simply because of my work schedule or family things that have come up.  For those of you not familiar with con speak, a con is a convention, whether it'd be Sci-Fi, Comic, Anime or even regular conventions but in geek terms, a convention is a con.  That's ok, because in my book family comes first and that's what is important to me.

However, I had been invited to this small con by a great friend of mine Chris Burnside (whom I have trooped with for years now) and my friends in the 105th Squad aka "Vader's Fist Pump".  Though I didn't know what my work schedule would be like, I decided to give it a chance and drove up to Raleigh for the day, knowing that it was a small con.  In addition, I drove up to the con in my Episode III Padme and even had to stop to get gas along the way so yes there are pictures of me filling my tank in my Padme costume.

The fee for this con was a modest fee like most of the Cons in North Carolina and I knew it was a small con.  Still it was a good little con with tables and dealers room.  One of the biggest areas of the con was the gaming room and though I'm not a big gaming fan, one peek into the room could tell you the gaming was about to get serious.  There were panels that appealed to most Sci-Fi fans and geeks alike and there were artists and photographers taking pictures.

Normally, when I go to cons I just go for socializing and really don't purchase anything unless it's one of my major fandoms or its something that appeals to me.  I did sit in on a panel on female geeks and it was the inspiration for me to start this blog.  Though I'm shy in general, it got me thinking on how being a female geek has changed over the years and how being a geek has affected me personally.

I got to hang around with my friends including those in the 501st, Mando Mercs, and Rebel Legion and I also got to see old friends that I've gone to and have gotten to know over the years like Allegra Torres.  I didn't get many pictures in my Padme because I arrived so late because of things I had to do for work and graduate school but I know I would've had a blast if time had allotted me a chance to stay longer.  Mike Penny, got a few shots of me and Chris Burnside also got a shot of me in Padme' but I am not dissappointed by the lack of pictures, my untimely arrival was my fault and that's ok...I'm not a perfectionist and an attention getter.  I was just there to have fun.

I enjoyed sitting down with my friends including James Rippe aka "Formal Vader" of the 105th, Chris Burnside, Cheralyn Lambeth, Alex Wilson, Steve Deeluew and others.  I love talking about past events and things that we have done together as geeks and what the future has in store for the rest of us.  I did have a great conversation with Cheralyn and Steve about events and what women have brought to the geekdoms as well as past and future events with the 501st and Rebel Legion.

Overall, I think Illogicon has a lot of potential to grow into a big con such as ConCarolinas or even Animazement.  I also would be interested in running a panel on geekdom or Doctor Who, or females in Star Wars and geekdom.  Though that would be a big step for me since I'm very shy but slowly and surely I'm coming out of my shell.

Again, Illogicon was well worth it and I will be attending again in 2014.

Me in my Padme on my way up to Illogicon.

Origins

Hello all,

My name is Jane and yes, I am a geek otherwise I wouldn't have started this blog.  Like most geeks I'm a big fan of all sorts of geeky things, including Star Wars, Doctor Who, Harry Potter,  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Supernatural.....you name it I've probably heard of it, like it or am just getting to know it.

I figure that I'd start blogging about being a geek in a male geek world although that stigma is changing with the advance of many women entering what was once a predominantly male geek world.  Or at the time, it was considered "taboo" for girls to like things such as Star Wars, Masters of the Universe, Power Rangers or anything that was considered geek like.  However, I've been a geek since as far back as I can remember.  My earliest memories of geekdom stem from when HBO used to show Return of the Jedi and Temple of Doom back to back in the late 80's and since I was born in the early 80's, I was there at the advent of Cable Television.

My parents made it a point to spend as much time as they could with my older siblings and I as much as possible so we would take camping trips all the time.  At four and five years old I imagined that when we went into the woods we would be on Endor and I would see Biker Scouts, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia in my imagination riding on their speeder bikes.  This continued on even as we moved onto a twenty acre farm in 1988 with 16 of those acres being nothing but complete woods and yes I played outside as much as I could when I was growing up.  During the winter, I re-enacted the Battle of Hoth in the snow after I saw my first viewing of Empire on that same farm.

I fell in love with Star Wars and when we moved out to the farm, we didn't have cable so my parents bought the VHS tapes from the CBS Fox club and I watched the trilogy so many times that I burned out my tapes and at least two VCR's.  I didn't care, I loved the adventures of the classic trilogy characters.

However, as much as I loved Star Wars I was considered to be an outcast at school since I didn't like the girly things too much.  Disney Movies though I liked them, I didn't watch them as much as I did my Star Wars trilogy and when the boys would go and play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Star Wars or Power Rangers I wanted to play too.  However, I couldn't play because "I was a girl." So there I went over to the set of swings that were designated for the Kindergarten Students and sat by lonesome talking to my imaginary friend Luke from ROTJ (yes, I'll save that for another blog).  I also was outcasted because I love to read...in fact if there was a book and it was nearby I would grab it and read it.  Everything from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Superfudge, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Wayside School, nothing was off limits.  Also, being at the farm I was only a half mile from the library so I rode my bike down to the library to check out books once and sometimes twice a week.  I was a book geek and proud of it!!!

Over the years, I developed a love for other geeky things, one of them being Marvel.  During the early 90's X-Men the Animated Series came out and I fell in love with it.  I would eagerly await each Saturday morning with anticipation of seeing the X-Men in Action, along with other cartoons such as Captain Planet, The Real Ghostbusters, TMNT, and the Addams Family.  I didn't care, I loved it and yes growing up when I was really young I watched He-Man and She-Ra and I didn't care.  I particularly loved watching X-Men and grew attached originally to Storm and Rogue, before going full out Jean Grey in Middle School during the Phoenix Saga/Dark Phoenix saga.  Though comics were taboo I would often write short stories based on X-Men and even Batman the Animated Series which I sometimes still catch on the HUB and I would try to get in touch with the boys that liked that sort of thing but again I was not allowed to play with the boys because being a female geek was weird.

At the start of middle school, we moved again to another house surrounded by woods and again I would let my imagination fly.  When we had the chance we would drive to the county library in downtown Port Huron, Michigan and I would check out the Star Trek novels as well as the Star Wars novels, which by that time Shadows of the Empire, and the Timothy Zahn and Jedi Academy trilogies had been released.

In 1997, when the Star Wars Special Editions came out I went crazy over some of the new things that were added that still cause controversy today and still remain big debates among Star Wars enthusiasts today.  It was also during this time Albin Johnson, who I didn't know about until I joined the 501st in 2003, started one of the best costuming groups out there.  Also, when ROTJ SE came out, my dad and I went to go see it in the theater, making it my first Star Wars movie that I had ever seen in the theater and I treasured that outing even though dad fell asleep in the middle of it.  I enjoyed it because it brought back happy memories.

In 1999, when TPM came out (The Phantom Menace for those of you who aren't big Star Wars fans) I went and saw the movie 6 times with a friend, despite Jar Jar Binks being in there.  I didn't care it was Star Wars and I started to add onto my Star Wars collection.  2002 came along with AOTC and sure enough I went to my first midnight showing and enjoyed it.  I had also heard about the 501st by this time and was looking to join but with my social awkwardness I didn't know who or what to join as.  Not to mention, I was 300 pounds and no one wanted to see a fat Stormtrooper so I eventually purchased my first Royal Guard and then the rest is history as they say.

Now as I look back on my ten year anniversary in the 501st Legion, I have come along way in terms of where I was and where I'm going.  I am a fan of many geekdoms including Doctor Who, Star Wars, Star Trek, Matrix, and Stargate and now that I've trooped and gone to some cons, I've noticed that the fandoms are shifting to include more women.  Women, like me, who have been sheltered or afraid to come out and say "I'm a geek" are now coming out in droves.  Some costume as comic characters (DC, Dark Horse, Marvel) and others Star Wars, anime, Matrix, Stargate and people are becoming more accepting of our presence.  There are others out there that say women still have no place in the fandom and I'm against that.  I'm learning it's ok to be a woman, and it's ok to be a geek.

In the future, I hope to elaborate more on the female role in the different fandoms as well as share more of my Geek thoughts and review some of the things that I like.  In addition, I want to hear more from the females out there that are geeks, that costume, roleplay, like different fandoms and aren't afraid to show it.

So as I close this out I want to take a quote from Star Trek:  "....to boldy go where no female geek has gone before."