Monday, December 11, 2017

Thank You, Mr. Hamill

Dear Mr. Hamill,
First and foremost, I just want to say thank you.  Thank You for everything that you do as an actor and to bring Star Wars to life.  The joy that you bring to the fans and have brought to the fans is awesome and even after all these years you still have the spark that inspired me as a young girl to love Star Wars since the day I was born.
Luke Skywalker was always my favorite character growing up and someone I looked up to even when he made mistakes or I made mistakes.  Other girls wanted Barbie Dolls and little pink houses but for me I wanted to be Luke.  I always played outside during the four seasons in Michigan and you guessed it, I was either Luke or Luke’s “apprentice” trying to learn the ways of the force. 
Just like the little boy who was recently bullied, I was always bullied by the other kids because at the time it was “taboo” for girls to love Star Wars.  I had a short Luke Skywalker like haircut and because I wanted to play Star Wars at recess the girls didn’t want me to play with them and told me I was weird and the boys didn’t want me to play with them because I was a girl.  Both social groups banished me to the Kindergarten swings and monkey bars.  Though, I had Luke as an imaginary friend the loneliness and rejections by my peers got to me.
As you can probably guess, I didn’t have many friends growing up and long story short, I turned to food for comfort and gained over 200 pounds.  The bullying increased into middle and high school and I became withdrawn from the world because I didn’t think I was worth it.  In college, I was sitting at over 320 pounds and though I had joined the 501st in 2003 with a Royal Guard I didn’t think I mattered in the scheme of things.  I still loved Star Wars because at the start of my college career Attack of the Clones and then Revenge of the Sith soon came out and like any diligent Star Wars fan I went to go see those movies but still felt very isolated from the world.
Even in my midst of isolation and seeing the wonderful costumes that people were putting out in the fan groups, my favorite costume had always been Luke’s black outfit from Return of the Jedi.  I think that’s what spurred me finally to take the biggest risk of my life and have lapband weight loss surgery to finally control the weight.  I remember a few nights before the surgery watching Return of the Jedi and I made it my goal to do that costume once enough weight came off.
Over the next three years I managed to lose over 100 pounds and once I reached 175 Luke’s outfit was the one costume I had in sight and in June 2013, I finally got my wish.  I had lost more weight since then but version one of the costume made it’s debut during that month and I’ve had three different versions made for me since I continue to drop the weight.  Right now I am sitting at over 162 pounds lost and though I have worn Luke to a few Rebel Legion events, I still feel like the outcast at times.
Yes, the costume has been approved by the Rebel Legion and people love it but still I have been criticized for it because of my female stature by another Luke within the legion and though those words hurt and I have thought of giving him up at times, my friends won’t let me. I have on many occasions even have gone into isolation because those words still haunt me again my friends won’t let me give up Luke.
 In fact, once I reached the 162 mark and hit 150 in weight, my friends challenged me to an Empire Strikes Back jumpsuit Luke so I accepted their challenge.  I made the debut in the costume in June of this year and just like Return of the Jedi, I love the character I love the costume but still I have doubts when I wear him.  Yet, to the one little kid I hope that I bring them a small amount of joy and happiness that you did on screen to me as a child.  Many of my friends have said that because of the way I handle the character and work with the kids during our events that it’s not the fact that I’m a woman that wears the costume it’s how I interact with the kids to bring joy into their life. 
Though, I’ve moved away from my friends because of a recent life change and some say “I went looking for the first Jedi Temple” let me just say as a fan who has never met you but sees the joy that you bring to so many around the world “Thank You.”  Thank You for inspiring little girls to become their heroes, for boys to become Jedi Knights and to keep the joy and love of Star Wars passionately alive.  Though I’m an avid fan of your Joker as well, to me you’ll always be Luke and someday, I would be honored to meet you, just to say “thank you”.

With Kindest Regards,


Jane Willer

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