It's been a long time since I've done a written blog and a lot has happened since I last did my written blog. First and foremost, I took a big step into a much larger costuming world. I went down to DragonCon after LibrariCon this year and had a blast. I wore Luke and Padme, mainly and Sunday morning I wore my custom companion from Doctor Who that I've roleplayed online for a few years now. I had a blast and for me one day is just fine though I keep dreaming about going back someday. I'm not sure if it's going to be 2014 or 2015 but we'll see. I was overwhelmed at DragonCon and yeah I saw a lot of things and people, different costumes and hung out with familiar faces. The bad thing is that at the time Heroes of Cosplay was going on at the time or airing at the time and coming across from the Marriot to the Hilton, I did see YaYa Han, one of the elite cosplayers going to and from. I wanted to chew her out because it's her attitude and yes I know some of that was editing that makes costumers like me want to leave all together and yeah I will admit over the past few months I've been down and out feeling like I should leave costuming all together because I'm not good enough.
I've also done a few other events such as Crystal Coast Con and a few symphony events as the guard since it's been requested. I also did Star Wars Reads Day and though I had fun at all, I still don't feel comfortable in my shell as Luke or Padme' because of my body type and shape. I guess I've never felt the same about Luke since one other Luke in the legion said I shouldn't do him because I'm a girl and for girls he should be a con only costume. You can really tell I'm not comfortable in Luke because I have a lot of DERP photos of me with the lightsaber. Maybe one day I'll feel confident enough not to do the DERP photos.
*sighs* Guess it's back to the lonely girl on the swing because I can't play with the cool kids. Luke was recently redone because of the weight loss and a few other issues with him and now I've gotten some great pictures in Luke 2.0 from today's NC Comic Con but still ever since I was told that I shouldn't do Luke I'm very hesitant to submit mine to the Rebel Legion for approval. The bad thing is that if I never submit then he is a Comic Con only costume and I can't hang with my RL friends or 501st friends officially. Also, I'm proving the skeptics right that girls can't cosplay guys because of the fact they are girls. People say I hide my body well under Luke but it's the doubting and the issues that I have with myself that prevent me from submitting him.
Oh well.....I'll brood on this for a few days and chew it over before I submit.
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