Geek Burnout

From time to time, geeks like me suffer from burnout.  Burnout occurs when there is too much going on in terms of our personal lives or geek ones.  Every year around this time, I really don't care to log on to the 501st boards because of elections and politics.  I really hate it because that's when the elitism, bickering and overall nastiness comes out in our hobby and I try so hard every year to ignore the boards.  I go in and vote, game over.  Still sometimes it leaks over Social Media and even that I'm burned out of.

Also, during this time I tend to turn into a really bitter person when it comes to things that normally don't bother me in terms of Geekdom.  For example, a lot of my male friends on Facebook are friends with Sexy Star Wars Girls or Sexy Cosplay Girls.  We all know that boys will look but to me during this time of the year, I find it disgusting and degrading.  Not to mention the big green jealousy demon is coming out because I know I don't have that type of body, but really I don't want it.  I'm not eye candy so move along.

Also, Social Media is a bit of a burnout for me because everyone's posting left and right election stuff, or asking me are you doing this costume?  Right now after the way I'm feeling everything is off the table.  I'm just burned out and will be taking a few days for myself and probably once elections are over and the egos settled down then I'll resume what I love to do.  That is if I feel like it.

105th Con

This is a shoutout to the members of the 105th "Vader's Fist Pump".  For those you who think this is an offshoot of the 501st, Mandolorian Mercs or Rebel Legion, it's not exactly that.  However, this is a prop building/costuming group that was formed to help people get into other costuming groups like the Rebel Legion, 501st, Halo Builders, Anime, Steampunk and Marvel groups. Anything you need help with these guys and girls can help you or point you in the right direction or show you how to make it yourself.

Their founder James Rippe aka "Formal Vader" started this group two years ago on a whim and it has grown exponentially over the past few months.  I joined back in May or June of this past year and though I don't have much prop building or sewing experience, I love to go to build parties just to see what others are working on.  I also love to go for the socialization and just to hang around good friends and talk all things geek.

Though people that know me know that I am very shy, observant and don't talk much.  It takes a lot for me to talk at any event and I generally sit back and watch.  It's just part of my nature, I'm a person that takes it all in.

Yesterday, to celebrate the 105th's second birthday, they held a Mini Con in which I sat in and co-hosted a panel with my friend Kenya Thompson on Female Geeks and Cosplayers or as Formal puts it "Cosplay Chicks". We held the con at the usual place, not at a convention hall or center, but at the build headquarters for all of the build parties, Formal's house.   For those of you that wondered what costume I wore to this con, I went with Amy Pond from Doctor Who, Series 6 "The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon"   Kenya went as Tony Stark from Iron Man and we addressed everything from cosplaying, to geekdom, being African American in costume, to the weight issues.  Everything that I have mentioned in this blog we discussed though I'm not sure if I got my point across as well as I should've but I do know that people liked the panel so we did something right!!

Afterwards, there were a few other panels such as Costuming for Noobs, the 105th Game Show and Photos and Photography.  Also, I had the chance to talk to a few of the 105th members and they are doing an X-Men group.  I have always loved X-Men but with my extra skin and thighs, spandex based costumes off of the comics aren't for me.  Despite, the rushed and unappealing storyline for X3: The Last Stand,  I am going to join the X-Men group as Dark Phoenix from X-Men 3.  Granted, the movie wasn't what I wanted because at the end of X2, I wanted and hoped for the big flamey fire bird but didn't get it.  However, I am doing this costume because I love X-Men, two I think I can pull it off and three Tina and several others pointed out that I could pull her off.  I have that quiet, silent way that was portrayed in the movie but I can be very fiesty or quirky when agitated.

Also, I'm for other people doing the same costume because I have so many other things planned coming down the line Luke Skywalker, Aqua Georgette Padme', and Avengers Bruce Banner to go with Kenya's Stark.  Still, I had a great time talking X-Men and future projects even though I don't have the slightest clue on how to sew or put together simple things.  I even have trouble halving paper for my Second Grade class at work, imagine me cutting fabric (YIKES!!).

The panels were funny especially the Game Show, the Costuming for Noobs and Photography.  I really loved hearing the newbies take on what got them into costuming and what their feelings were.  So newbies or newborns, I welcome you with open arms to costuming and can't wait to hang out with you guys more.  I will admit that half of the people though they are signed up with the Facebook group I have no idea on who you are but anyways, shout out to you guys for being 105th!!!  Also, it was interesting watching Formal get plasted and face casted, no doubt the pics are posted in the 105th Facebook Group.

After our usual potluck dinner we then had Karaoke.  It was entertaining even though I had my Ipod going for most of the songs.  Yes, it was weird seeing  Nick aka "Captain Handsome/America" singing a certain song but it did put a smile on my face.  Now one of the things that I'm known for is shyness and when I'm alone I can definitely sing but singing Karaoke yeah shy.  I'm so scared and yes I wanted to do it to pull me out of my shell more so yes Formal had me sing Pat Benatar's "Invincible" which in private I can really belt it out but me being shy and unsure yeah....though I will admit this... I had fun doing it.

Of course I couldn't stay past eight with it being a school night but I want to say that I had a blast and it was one of the better Cons that I've attended even if it was 40 people.  It just goes to show you don't need to go to a bigger Con to have a good time.  That's why I like smaller cons because it's more intimate.  I'm not sure how I would react to a larger con say like DragonCon, NYCC or SDCC because of the geek overload and the crowds.  However, maybe that's the next step in pulling me out of my shell.

Again, I want to say thanks to everyone for being so inviting and charismatic   I truly enjoyed myself at the 105th Con and I look forward to more events like this in the future.

Shout Out to Sci-Fi Speed Dating

This is a shout out to my friends at Sci-Fi Speed Dating whom, I have nothing but admiration and respect for.  For two years, I've watched both seasons and honestly I'm glad that they are out there putting geek couples together.  It's also taking what I've talked about in this blog to a different level in not just showing male geeks but female geeks as well.  The past few episodes of Season 2 have been about female geeks and how we don't have to be sexy to be noticed.

Kudos to IGN for keeping the show alive and giving my friends recognition.  I know for a few months Ryan  Glitch, the president of Sci-Fi Speed Dating has been trying to get me on there or up to NYCC to possibly film for an episode.  I wish I could but being a teacher, there's not much time I can take off during the year to come and film.  *sighs*  Maybe Con Carolinas or StellarCon will invite them down here to do Speed Dating at a Con in the future.

So what makes this show different from other reality shows?  Well, it's showing how geeks together for starters.  Usually, it starts off with a geek showing off their passions, be it gaming, Star Wars, Comics or whatever and then it shows how a session of Speed Dating goes with that geek.  I really enjoy it because it doesn't seem staged as some of the other reality shows out there.  Not to mention, Ryan the host, is easy to connect to as are most of the Geeks on that show.  I can relate to them because I'm a single Star Wars geek.  I'm as about as real as they come in terms of geekdom.

Granted, my thing is not about being a Sexy Star Wars geek but just a genuine honest geek.  You can tell when they film the show these are real geeks not actors. That's another thing that I like about this show, the realism.  

Getting back to the geeky side of me, you can pretty much guess what I like in terms of my fandoms.  Star Wars, being at the top of it followed by Doctor Who,  Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek,  Skyrim, Being Human, Superman, and various others that I have mentioned throughout this blog.  I have a huge Star Wars collection and am now starting to acquire a Doctor Who collection.  I also costume as characters from both Star Wars and Doctor Who.  Tomorrow I'm even doing a con as Amy Pond from Doctor Who and running a panel based on this blog.  

Anyways back to Sci-Fi Speed Dating, 

I really would love to meet these guys in person at a con someday when my work schedule permits it.  I am interested in meeting an honest Star Wars, Doctor Who geek who appreciates and loves the things that I do.  I know I'm not sexy, I don't intend to be, I don't want to be a Sexy person because that's not me.  I'm modest, shy and meek outside of my geekdom and though I am losing weight because of the surgery I want him to look at me not for my body but what's on the inside.  In my various discussions with Ryan,  I have mentioned this when I'm looking for my match.  To be honest, after the breakup with my ex, it took me a long time to get over to trust someone of the opposite gender.  However, I think I'm ready to try love again and maybe one day I can find my Geek Match.

Anyways,  go and catch Sci-Fi Speed Dating and Geek Love on IGN Start!!

{Reposted from YouTube, I will take down if asked to}

It's on the internet so it must be true!!!

Recently, my blog has come under attack by some religious groups who have seen my blog through links on blogger.com.  Usually, when I post an entry, I post it publicly on Google plus for people to see it.  I guess I'm going to have to stop that practice because I have been attacked twice in pending comments by Religious fanatics saying that I'm going to be tossed into the fires of hell for worshiping idols.

Wow.  That's a new one.  I didn't know the churches out there now have power to decide if I go to Heaven or Hell.  I thought God only had the power to do that and for those that you who are or aren't religious whoever you believe in has the power to decide where you go after you die.  It's no secret that I am a Christian, I'm Lutheran by denomination but I've been brought up to believe that all people are equal.

Anyways, the attacks started last Tuesday and though I decided to delete them the more I thought about them Wednesday into Thursday, the more angrier I got. Why?  They sought to bring me down because of something that I passionately love.  I love being a Geek.  I dress in costumes, I go to Cons, I roleplay, I play X-Box from time to time.  I do not under any circumstances dress provcatively when I go to Cons.  The most revealing costume that I have is Padme and come on folks is she really that revealing?

This church (thank god which isn't WBC or Westboro Baptist Church), also stated that I am going to hell because I am unmarried and one member even posted that how can an unwed pregnant mother raise a twin?  Wow.  Since when did they know the details of my life, have they even seen Star Wars? For the record people, I am not pregnant nor have I ever been intimate with a guy.  The only time I had a boyfriend that was serious was in college and that was more break your heart and stomp on it, wait till after marriage kind of thing, which I got the feeling he didn't want to wait, and he also suffered from PTSD from serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I left him and it broke my heart, so I've been reluctant to step into the dating world though now I feel like a fish out of water.  I hope one day to find my own geek but as to how or why?  Yeah, I'm lost on that part.

Getting back on topic, this group obviously wanted to bring me down because their either jealous or truly concerned about my soul.  Come on people, I keep this blog PG and I keep it clean.  I really do think that you can be a geek and be religious at the same time (or not religious if you choose).  The point being is that others will seek to bring Geeks down because they feel there isn't a place for us.  Yet, the cons and the fandoms dictate otherwise.

Still it's attacks like these that put a bad taste in my mouth.  I started this blog to have fun and you know what?  By golly, I think I'm going to keep it despite what the people who don't like geeks say.  Geek is good.  Religion can be a part of geekdom (ever hear of The Force?), and it's ok to be religious and be a geek.  Don't let anyone say you are going to the underworld because of your Geekdom because only you can make the choices that influence your life or in this case the afterlife.

Same Sandbox- ala "Can't we all just get along?"

As the fandoms continue to grow, more and more people are getting into the costuming/cosplay aspect of being a geek.  Now it's no secret that people have dressed up as their favorite character or genre for years.   Halloween pictures from the past, show people dressed up as Vulcans, Science Officers and characters from Star Trek.  Plastic Darth Vader masks show the beginnings of members who would one day join the 501st Legion or even the Rebel Legion.  Back then, it was acceptable to wear a costume on Halloween or even a small Star Trek convention.

Now it's beginning to be more acceptable to go to conventions and wear all sorts of costumes.  From comics to Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Buffy,  Avengers just about anything goes at a con, even Anime.  It is not odd to see a costumer go out to dinner during a major con such as DragonCon and WonderCon or WizardWorld dressed as their favorite character.  Sure a few odd looks are thrown in the direction of the costume but everyone just goes on about their business.

Yet, again let me address this issue that I see among the more popular fan groups.

 "My costume is better than yours".

Those words.  I can't stand them even if the costumer is just mentioning them to another person who costumes the same thing.  It irks me and I think it's because its presented in two different lights.  One, the person may have made more modifications to the costume or can fit it better, or two it's ego.  Yes, organizations demand strict costuming standards but really?  "My costume is better than yours?" Do people have any idea on how childish that sounds?

I'll use this as an example.  Say that there is someone who bought fabric, bought leather boots, belts, pouches, capsules and an ultrasaber to do a Dark Jedi.  That costume isn't accepted by the Rebel Legion or the 501st  (the said costumer knows the groups won't take it)  but it may look really good and the person wants to do it for fun. So they wear it to a convention such as Celebration or any of the other ones that are mentioned to go and be a geek for a day.  The person makes the runs on the Dealers Floor, sits in on panels and wanders for hours as most con goers do.  Yet in the corner, there is the one person that snickers and says "That costume sucks".  How would you feel?  Even if it met and borrowed from the CRLs of both groups plus the Jedi Assembly?    I don't know about you but I'd be hurt.


I know that there are some people that spend hour after hour perfecting their costumes.  Heck, I'm still making tweaks to Padme' and the Guard but still I'm aware that my costumes will never be perfect.  In reality, we're not perfect and I know that I'm not perfect.  My body type is not Natalie Portman's or the square broad shoulders of the Royal Guards of both Classic and Prequel trilogies.  However, I costume for fun and yes I know that Padme' has not been approved by the Rebel Legion though she was made by a RL member.  I realize that I wear a wig and I am larger than the Padme's featured on the site.  Everyone who has seen her or the guard have made positive comments and I truly appreciate them.  However, what would happen if I go to the next Celebration and have her on the forefront with the other skinnier Padme's?

 {Photo by Jess Ingles, January 2013)

{Photo by Grace Gore, October 2012)

Oooh there we go with the Fat Padme comments or it's not screen accurate enough because Natalie is skinny and you're just a fat person wanting to be skinny.  Ok, yes I get the fact that maybe you don't want a five foot six Vader running around the convention but gee I'm not perfect, no one is.  I also know that you don't want bathrobe Jedi's running around either.  Now I have seen it in some of the clubs, that there are elitist and perfectionists but for the most part we get along.  It's just my fear that if the elites got into power I will never be able to attend an event again because I'm not the body type, the height or the weight.  If that ever happened a lot of people not only will be angry or upset, they will resent and hate their hobbies.

*sighs*

I think the point is that as long as it meets the requirements to get into a club then it should be accepted.  No matter if it's Stargate, Comic Cosplay clubs,  Anime (though I think they are mostly independent, Doctor Who or other fandoms.  After all we're all geeks, we get to play in the same sandbox, we all have the same passions so why not have some fun with the costume that you love.

*steps down from Soapbox*

Being a geek is a beautiful thing.

I had a revelation this week while trooping the Carolina Gamer's Summit this weekend.  As I stood there watching the various gaming geeks go to and from the exhibitors booths, to their tournaments.  I noticed that they were all smiling and having a good time.  Talking about the anticipated releases of the next big gaming console, their late night conquests online or the various costuming groups that were there.  The 501st was there as well as Chad from Blue Ridge Base of the Rebel Legion and even as I stood there in Padme once again, I realized that....being a geek is a beautiful thing.

Not only that, once you are among your kind you are beautiful and if you know anything about me, it took me a long long time and even that moment at the Gamer's Summit where I realized that being a geek was beautiful but also that there is an inner beauty to myself that I have never seen.  As I was in the women's room adjusting the wig I looked into the mirror and saw not just Padme' and me in the Padme' costume, I saw the geek and the true me looking back.  For twenty nine years, I failed to recognize that I was beautiful, always attributing that I was ugly because of my weight and that being a geek was so abnormal that I should've been locked up.  I don't know what it was, maybe it was the surgery or maybe that I was so enthralled in the moment that I finally realized that the inner beauty is starting to come out.  Something that I denied or failed to see but has started to blossom at last.

Being a geek and a female geek is a beautiful thing.  Sure, the stereotype is that you have to be a female sexy geek to be noticed.  However, as most of you know I'm not sexy, I'm modest and I do get noticed but for being a geek.  I even got recognized three times this weekend at the Gamers Summit and two hugs from other costumers, plus compliments on Padme'.  I was very very happy and it felt good to be recognized.  In addition, when you are in a crowd of your peers and fellow geeks, everyone is focused on one thing, the fandom.  Though there are some instances where fandom can lead to passionate fights among fans who disagree on a plot, character or something related to the fandom.  

Female geeks don't have to be sexy to beautiful, they just need to be themselves and that is something I am finally realizing after all these years.

*****

This weekend I'll be hosting a panel on Female Geeks and Cosplayers at the 105th MiniCon and a lot of the things that I've discussed in the previous blogs will also be brought to the front.  Also, my friend Kenya will be contributing with being female, African American and a costuming geek.  In addition, I'll be bringing up what it means to be female, a geek and how the world views us.

Wish me luck this is the first panel I have ever contributed to and hosted so hopefully it'll go well.

Spoilers.....no seriously this blog is about spoilers!

The idea for this blog came to me when I was searching through my favorite Geek media sites, Superhero Hype, Crave Online,  Doctor Who and the TARDIS and I have thought long and hard about the idea of spoilers and how they have changed since the advent of the internet.  We’ve all seen them online those of us who have regular access to media sites to see who will be starring in our favorite TV shows, directing that next big geeky summer blockbuster or writing that comic book that we’ve been looking forward to.

Yet, how many of us have read a spoiler only to be disappointed? Should spoilers be even posted online?  

I will say this,  "It depends on your point of view."  

Personally, the idea of spoilers to me can be both a good thing and a bad thing at the same time.  For example, finding out the casting of a movie that you've heard about can be a good thing.  I was excited when they announced the casting on The Avengers.  I mean sure, we all knew who was basically who but also at the time I had never heard of Mark Ruffalo and being the Hulk fan that I am, I was surprised that Edward Norton had sold out and was afraid that Mark couldn't handle the big guy.  I was wrong and I loved Ruffalo's performance.  Granted, Banner is supposed to be a skinny thin guy that turns into a 1,000 pound great big green rage monster but hello, this is the movie real world and not the comic book page world.

With the announcement of J.J. Abrams as the new director for Star Wars: Episode VII, I'm a bit on the mixed fence about this.  Don't get me wrong, I loved his reboot of the Star Trek franchise but I don't want Episode 7 to be reboot of the Classic Trilogy!!!y!! J.J.  I love you but don't mess with my childhood and please don't don't reboot the Classic Trilogy to the point that I denounce my fandom and leave Star Wars forever.  So when the time comes for casting announcements, it should be interesting I'll be paying attention to those actively.  However, when certain plot elements may be announced, I will actively avoid those spoilers because I want to be surprised when I go into theaters and who knows when the trailers air.  I might go and see the movies that they are attached to in the theaters.  I have alot of expectations when it comes to Star Wars  and the movies and I don't want to be disappointed or spoiled too much by trailers and fan postings on Social Media.  Therefore, I will disconnect, ignore or hide spoiler comments made by my Social Media friends.  I love you guys, but please don't spoil it for me!!

What about X-Men: Days of the Future Past?  I've only read about the casting announcements off of Super Hero Hype and I won't spoil anyone here but I can learn to live with them and I'm excited.  The same thing goes with Superman: Man of Steel,  I'm a bit Supes fan and though I've seen the trailers, I'm actively avoiding the Spoilers that fans are posting on Superman sites and film sites.

So what about TV shows?  I really don't read that many spoilers because there isn't that many to be found online.  Maybe one or two casting announcements but as for an Episode of Clone Wars that has or is about to air, I tend to actively avoid those Spoilers.  For Being Human, I tend to avoid those as well because I want to be surprised.  I like the trailers that they air for TV shows because it gives you a little taste of what's to come but as for full blown spoilers?  I actively try to avoid those, even when Doctor Who is preparing to begin it's 50th Anniversary season, though I do like hearing about the casting rumors.

Overall, I think if you want to be spoiled that's your choice but think about your friends and family that don't want to be spoiled.  There is a fine line that spoilers can take a fan, yes there are things you want to know and things you don't want to know.  For example, when everyone was hyped up about the Legacy of the Force series, I avoided spoilers on that till a friend told me how it ended but now I'm reading it just to see the how and why the saga played out  like it did.  Also, in the Comic Media, there are certain things that I'll look at and then when I do I'm sorely disappointed.  I'll just say when I heard a certain comic book character got the Phoenix Force and then multiple characters did I was not happy.  Again, spoilers or no spoilers depends greatly on how we feel about our different fandoms and how passionate we are about those fandoms.  Do we want to or don't we want to be spoiled?  That's a choice that as geeks we have to make it for ourselves.


Till next time....