I am what I am nothing more.

Exactly what the title says.

I am not perfect.  There was only one perfect being in the world and he lived and died over 2,000 years ago.  I'm getting off my religious soap box for those of you who are against religion or don't believe which is fine.  I respect your decisions.

Anyways, a few weeks ago I made two video blogs that luckily never uploaded to YouTube about my frustrations with the costuming world, being teased and bullied.  I realize something now, I'm still bullied and teased, nothing is going to change that.  The costuming world has changed from where it was a decade ago, I can't change it, nor do I have the power to change it.  

I can try and change who I am, which I have done with the lapband surgery and dropped over 120 pounds.  I can try new costumes which I did with Luke and Padme this year, though I'm unsure about both.  I can try to change my emotions and my social awkwardness, it can't change over night but I'm working on it.  

Some people wonder why I am so sensitive to things that normally don't bother other people.  I was not sheltered growing up, my parents who I love dearly let me fight my own battles though when the teasing got to much, dad intervened a few times but that was it.  Other than that I developed into the emotional basketcase that I am today.  Emotional basketcase, that sounds harsh doesn't it?  Think about it, this week I took a hiatus from costuming and yeah I mentioned that in the secret blog entry on why I took it.  I can't control my emotions very well or hide them though I try with the teachers trick that I use but it's difficult.  I'm sensitive, very sensitive because I was always teased and builled growing up.

Rather than go into a 300 word tyrannical rant I will save you the trouble and keep this short.

I am me.

There is no one on Earth that will change that.

I am a big person.

I have a big heart.

I am emotional wreck at times.

I give till I can't give anymore.

I've faced trials at work, trials in life that people would consider me crazy for.

If you can deal with this then you are my friend.

If you can't tell me and we'll part on good terms no questions asked.

Any questions?  Good.

Now, because I give so much I've had that little voice in the back of my head saying "take something for you...do something for you what are you waiting for?"  Uhh could it be because my conscious says it's wrong?  Take for instance on Etsy.com there is an X3 Dark Phoenix jacket for sale that is my size and I want to do that costume.  Do you think I'll buy it?  Probably not.  Why?  My conscious says you can't take things for you, it'll be selfish.  I just purchased two Ipads do you think that those Ipads are for me? Nope, they are for my classroom.  Buying one or a new laptop for me and just for me is something I consider to be selfish even if I do need it for work and for school.  What about X-Box games?  I only have 8 and one that I play whenever I get the chance.  Why don't I play X-Box 24/7, because of the demands of the job.  If I give up one hour for X-Box or TV, then I'm giving up one hour for Grad School or Grading Papers.  That's being selfish.  What about Cons or Costuming? (Sore Subject but I'll answer).  Yes I can take time for me to do them but afterwards I feel guilty because I could've done some extra school work.  Spring Break, what about a trip to Las Vegas or back to Michigan to visit friends and family, maybe even Disney World.  Same thing.  Another lightsaber from Ultrasabers?  I'd feel guilty because although I have the funds for it, thats taking away from something else.   It even took some hard convincing on the part of my Teacher Assistant to take a day off a few weeks ago to go see my surgeon and yet I feel guilty over it because my kids were without me for a day.   

Get my drift?  I know that if I don't slow down and take time for me I'll go crazy (been there a long time), snap (yeah go there in the hidden blog if I chose to give you the link),  end up in the hospital, or six feet under because of trip to the hospital.    Still,  I feel that if I stop giving or if I take something for me I'm being selfish.

I am who I am.  Nothing is going to change that.   I am geek, I used to like costuming not sure that I do anymore, I am a loner (not sure if that's going to change anytime soon).  I can only do so much before I fall apart and if I take time for me I feel that I'm being selfish.

This is who I am.  Nothing More.  Nothing Less.

I am not a Hero of Cosplay..

This blog comes quickly on the heels of whether or not I should have submitted Luke to the Rebel Legion for judging.  Although through hesitation and several tries of uploading, I had a bit of help submitting him but now he's in to be judged.  We will see if he is approved or not and if he isn't...that's ok.

So why this blog?  I've had a few people add me on Facebook complimenting me on how well my costumes look and that I'm an inspiration to them.  I've never made any of my costumes, I can't even sew even though I have my aunt's machine and plan on getting it tuned so that way I can take lessons at JoAnn's I can't sew.  Also, a little known fact about me is that I've never been able to cut a straight line even in Grade School and as a Second Grade teacher, at least I can color inside the lines.   Yes, I like going to events and I like being in costume whether it's the guard, Padme, or Luke though Luke I'm shaky on.

At NC Comic Con this past weekend I met a lot of cosplayers/costumers who said I looked good in Luke although I mainly got pictures with my group which was fine.  In most pictures, I looked unhappy and it wasn't because of the costume, it's because of how I perceived myself in the costume.  Meaning, if the costume police showed up I'd be guilty of cosplaying as a guy while being in reality a girl.  Yet, I've had a few of those people through Twitter and Facebook tell me that I am an inspiration for them because I dare to cross gender lines to look like a character that I've loved since a little girl.  Furthermore, other geeks have told me that I am an inspiration  for them because I underwent life changing surgery back in 2011 to get healthy and reduce my weight and in the end I've dropped over 160 pounds and I'm still slowly dropping that weight off and now doing costumes that I believe fit me such as Padme' and Luke.  Others, have told me that I am an inspiration because I am coming out of a shell that I've remained hidden in for so long which is the guard and I've allowed myself to open up the world, while being extremely introverted.   Finally, a lot of people have told me I have one of the biggest and giving hearts out there and if people needed something I'd do it for them.  In a heartbeat, I would and yeah I have my big heart because that's that the type of person I am.  I give to the community, I work hard as a teacher, I work hard as a fan and though I'm tired most nights, I love what I do.   I give and give and give, and I'm afraid to take because part of me feels that it's wrong.  I mean when I go to Cons I don't expect to get in for free, I don't expect to get free admission to events, I'd rather pay the price of admission to know that it goes to the organization that's sponsoring the event.  I'd love to see any money that people give to us go to Make a Wish, Salvation Army or whoever to give those who are less fortunate a chance.  I'd volunteer to help out at cons if people needed it.   When I finish writing my book if I ever get to it with the demands of work, though I would like a profit, I'd rather see the first 100 sales of the book go to charity because that's who I am.  I GIVE.  I never take and if I do take I feel extremely guilty....

Anyways....

I appreciate all the kind comments guys but really I'm not a Hero of Cosplay, I don't do it to get the"me, me, me" appreciation.  I do it because I'm a fan and yeah I may seem brave on the outside but I'm really scared and timid on the inside.  My big heart has been stomped on more than once, I've been told that girls shouldn't do guys, and yeah I'm afraid of opening that big heart of mine to someone in my life, a guy and though there are some that are interested, I don't know how to approach them (saved for another blog).  The point I'm trying to make is that I'm not a Hero of Cosplay, I do it because I'm a fan.  I love my characters, I can always fall back on the guard to hide, Padme' to be feminine, and Luke (pending on his approval) to be my imaginary friend.  I don't enter in costume contests because it's not fair to others and I'm really self-conscious about opening my heart to costume judges, some who have worked on films. The last costume contest, I entered, I entered as my guard or rather was forced into it as my guard and won.  I shouldn't have entered because I didn't make the costume and it wasn't fair to the ones who make their own costumes.  Again, that's my giving heart, even if I made the costume, I wouldn't do it because I'm in the RL as Padme and the 501st as the guard.  It's not that I'm saying I'm a professional cosplayer/costumer it's because I believe people deserve to be recognized for their own work.  It boils down to something similar plagiarism and with my Second Masters starting tomorrow, I feel that if I entered the other costumes, I'm no better than the ones who plagarized their work to get a good grade on a paper.  So therefore, I won't enter my paper into a costumer and I will not acknowledge myself as a Hero of Cosplay because that's not the type of person I am.

Furthermore, people have said I should go on shows like "King of the Geeks/Nerds" or reality TV geek shows.  Seriously, with my shyness how long do you think I'd last?  Do you think America wants to see a person like me on the TV?  With the editing, they'd know the fake Jane, not the real Jane.  The one with the big heart, the one who has confidence issues, who cares more about other people than herself, would be erased; TV would show a snotty, bratty, Jane and that is not me and that definitely is not a Hero of Cosplay, which I am not.

Overcoming Stigmas

Hello Blog,

It's been a long time since I've done a written blog and a lot has happened since I last did my written blog.  First and foremost, I took a big step into a much larger costuming world.  I went down to DragonCon after LibrariCon this year and had a blast.  I wore Luke and Padme, mainly and Sunday morning I wore my custom companion from Doctor Who that I've roleplayed online for a few years now.  I had a blast and for me one day is just fine though I keep dreaming about going back someday.  I'm not sure if it's going to be 2014 or 2015 but we'll see.  I was overwhelmed at DragonCon and yeah I saw a lot of things and people, different costumes and hung out with familiar faces.  The bad thing is that at the time Heroes of Cosplay was going on at the time or airing at the time and coming across from the Marriot to the Hilton, I did see YaYa Han, one of the elite cosplayers going to and from. I wanted to chew her out because it's her attitude and yes I know some of that was editing that makes costumers like me want to leave all together and yeah I will admit over the past few months I've been down and out feeling like I should leave costuming all together because I'm not good enough.  

I've also done a few other events such as Crystal Coast Con and a few symphony events as the guard since it's been requested.  I also did Star Wars Reads Day and though I had fun at all, I still don't feel comfortable in my shell as Luke or Padme' because of my body type and shape.  I guess I've never felt the same about Luke since one other Luke in the legion said I shouldn't do him because I'm a girl and for girls he should be a con only costume.  You can really tell I'm not comfortable in Luke because I have a lot of DERP photos of me with the lightsaber.  Maybe one day I'll feel confident enough not to do the DERP photos.

*sighs*  Guess it's back to the lonely girl on the swing because I can't play with the cool kids.  Luke was recently redone because of the weight loss and a few other issues with him and now I've gotten some great pictures in Luke 2.0 from today's NC Comic Con but still ever since I was told that I shouldn't do Luke I'm very hesitant to submit mine to the Rebel Legion for approval.  The bad thing is that if I never submit then he is a Comic Con only costume and I can't hang with my RL friends or 501st friends officially.  Also, I'm proving the skeptics right that girls can't cosplay guys because of the fact they are girls.  People say I hide my body well under Luke but it's the doubting and the issues that I have with myself that prevent me from submitting him.   

Oh well.....I'll brood on this for a few days and chew it over before I submit.  

We have a Twelve!!

Doctor Who.

That show has been around for 50 years, with it's 50th Anniversary about to be celebrated this year in November.  I can't wait but also I am a fan having gotten into it back in 2008 with my roommate at the time watching David Tennant's 3rd Season run.  Granted, Tennant was good but Eccelston was much better even though he only had one season.  

After being exposed to Doctor Who, I wanted more and to tell you the truth I'm glad that Cornelia exposed me to it because I became aware of the other incarnations of the Doctor.  I went further back into the Eighth, and back and back further and further.  Now granted, when I first saw Eight I was like oh this guy is terrible, that was till another friend introduced me to the BFA (Big Finish Audios) or Audio Dramas as I like to call them.  I love Eight and I love Seven as my classic Doctors.  

What appeals to me about Doctor Who is the constant change with the different regenerations of the Doctor.  The show is all about change and yes, it deals with aliens, monsters things that go bump in the night and of course our lonely Timelord traveling in his little blue box.  Of course depending on his mood or the situation he has an assistant or a companion that travels with him.  Sometimes it's only one, or sometimes it's several companions as we've seen in the recent series of Five, Six and Seven.    

Theoretically, the fans say that as the Doctor gets closer to his final regeneration he gets younger.   I'm so glad that the theory went out the window with Peter Capaldi's casting as the Twelfth Incarnation of the Doctor.  I'm happy because I enjoyed his time in "Fires of Pompeii" and I've heard some good things about him being the time lord.  Yes, he is older like Eccelston, Tennant and McGann but still, I think he'll have that Charisma, that spark and that old-time feel of Doctor Who that the older fans want.  I am excited to see what he has to offer as The Doctor.  Who knows? We might even get some audios from him for BFA's when his tenure is done.

Matt Smith as well as his predecessors have all done a Fantastic Job as The Doctor and I wish Matt well in his future endeavors as well as all of those involved in the series.  Godspeed Matt and Hello Peter!!

-Jane

Signals? What signals?

Ok I started this as a draft and deleted it a while back so I'm going back to it.  You know how people or things give people signals about something?  For example, body language can tell us if a person is bored, tired, upset, happy or what their mood is.  Other signals suggest that it's time to move on or do something else.  Many people can read signals and I admire it for them.

The problem with me, is that I can't read signals.  No seriously, I can't read signals around people like if it's time to back off, or go somewhere with them.  If you ask me are you going to go with me to a Con or to this booth or even but do it in a normal kind of way it will take me a couple of minutes if that for me to pick it up.  I can't read signals very well and if guys are hitting on me, sorry no offense I couldn't tell if you were hitting on me or not.  Seriously, guys have tried to hit on me a lot lately and I think I turn them off because I don't know how to respond.  It could be because, I've always been shy or not very sociable, I did have one relationship and the guy pulled an Anakin Skywalker/Vader on me and broke my heart.  It's been ages since I've been in the game ,and I want to get back in the game, I'm just very very scared to.  However, there is another part of me that says I can get along just fine without a significant other.  Then again, no one should ever be lonely...I can't interpret the signals that my heart is giving me but I guess even though I say I can get along just fine without someone in my life, I am very lonely and afraid to take the risk again but I want the risk.  Sorry, again reading that sentence, you can tell that's mixed signals because I don't know how to confront my feelings on the matter of a significant other.  I want to be happy, I just don't know how.

I think one clear signal I did pick up and I hate it because it makes me feel very uncomfortable is that I shouldn't costume Luke.  I'm not sure why, I'm not sure if the person who made that slight comment meant it in the way that they did but for whatever reason it's bothered me the past few weeks.  Whereas most costumers shrug it off, because of my lack of signal reading I can't shrug it off, I hold it against people or I brood for a long time.  It sparked off the comment that I posted in Facebook the other night that I was thinking of giving up costuming and resuming a "normal" life.  Though what is normal?  I could go off on a whole nother tanget but I will behave and yes for those of you who are going to bombard my FB with who is saying this stuff?  I will say this, I am going to keep doing Luke because one of my best friends has done an excellent job on him and I love being my imaginary friend!!

I mean seriously, if you say that I suck as a costumer, or something that is meant to be taken one way but I take it another I will brood for a long time over it thinking that there is something wrong with me.  I really can't read signals well so if you meant something you may have to clarify, especially if it's a signal.  So don't feel bad, it's not you...it's me.

Again, if you are trying to say something to me and I don't get it.  Don't get mad with me, it's just that I can't read your signals.

Please Play Nice!!!

I've seen a very disturbing trend lately, or maybe it's been going on for a while and I've been blind to it but lately I've been seeing a lot of "Look at me I am the best of the best and I want attention" posts.  I've seen most of these on Facebook in my feeds, friends, private or personal even though I have tried to screen them out I'm just getting sick of them.

Recently, I saw a feed for a show about Cosplayers and of course it's the best of the best cosplayers/costuming but I don't need to see it advertised 20 different times in my feed.  I don't need to see the perfect bodied female geek plastered all over my wall.  Furthermore, the feeds that I've seen lately are more of the scantily clad cosplayers or the cosplaying show that shows only the best of the best with the perfect body and the perfect costume.  Yes, there is a point that you should be proud of your costume, you or your seamstress/builder should be proud of the hard work that has been put into making your Geek dreams come true, but you should not brag you're the best.

In my view, bragging that you have the supreme god of god costumes, or the epic costume of the con means that you really don't care about having fun, but rather running around and making everyone feel insecure, or showing off what a pompous jerk you are.  Granted, there are a lot of costumes that I admire, but I really dislike people at cons that brag that they are the brightest and best.  If I like your costume, I'll say it but if you say that "I'm the only one that can wear this costume" then you and I will have a problem.

******

I say this because there are some people that have contacted me in private about me being Luke or Padme'. Some have said that I'm too fat for either, some say that because I'm a girl that I can't do Luke or they've just been really nasty to me.  I will say this to them "BITE ME!!!"  I love being Luke and I love being Padme' and besides Padme is pregnant in Episode III with both Luke and Leia so I can use my weight to my advantage for that costume.  Luke has been a dream since I was a little girl and just because I'm not 150 pounds  yet doesn't mean I'm not going to costume him.  I've got a very special request to do Luke and yes, we are still working on him to get him right for the RL judges but I tell you I enjoy the costume and I will be wearing him as long as my body can endure it, and as long as people want him.

The point of this blog that I'm trying make is that bragging about your costume is ok as long as it doesn't affect other people's fun or demeans them.  If you say "You can't costume that" you are being a jerk and unprofessional and not representing the character you are trying to portray. Furthermore, it's ok to costume as any character you want, but be thankful when people ask for photos with you...always say thank you, always be polite to each other.  In other words...Play Nice!!!


One other area that I want to touch on is please if you are going to use photos ask the person you are borrowing from if you can use those photos.  I've had a few of my friends who have had their photos plastered all over the internet when they didn't want them to.  I know a rule that I follow is that if my parents wouldn't approve of it it doesn't go up on Facebook.  Yes, I have silly costume photos of Padme, Luke and the Guard on Facebook, but I make sure that those silly photos are not used against me.  If I borrow photos or share them, or blog about them I try to give them credit or the photographer the credit.  However, I'm getting really tired of seeing photos of my friends being used without permission or asking first.  I try to ask people before borrowing and yes if I post a YouTube video then I try to give credit where credit is due.

Also, I know I know, if the person posted it they should know the risks of posting such photos on the internet.  Maybe, they wanted to share their costume with the rest of the costuming world or the groups they are in.  Yes, they are aware that said costumes can get them in trouble with work or other interests, but have the decency to ask them first before taking their photo.

That's all I ask people.

-Jane

Man of Steel. Not Impressed.

I went and saw Man of Steel finally this weekend and let me just say this.  Not impressed.

Perhaps, it was the fact that I loved the Christopher Reeve movies or missed the John Williams music.  It could've been the whole I'm a big Supes fan and that I want this to be a homage and make my favorite DC hero look good.  No.  It was all action, no plot.  

Seriously, there were parts that I liked such as the birth scene and making Krypton seem more alien than what it was in the 1978 movie.  I also loved Lara's launch dress and Russell Crowe did a decent job of portraying Jor-El.  However, the movie seemed to be in so many parts disjointed.  I liked the fact that we got to see Clark growing up but I'd rather have that part at the front of the movie and continuously flowing like it did in the Donner movies.  

There was also so many transitions between scenes that one moment you're seeing one thing and then 5 seconds later you are moving onto something else.   Also, when they had Clark trying to fly for the first time I just had to laugh, it looked to cartoony to be realistic and the CG wasn't screaming Superman to me. During Lois's first scenes I thought, hmm maybe she wasn't going to be the damsel in distress Lois or the annoying Lois...again I was dissappointed.   I do like Lawrence Fishbourne's portrayal of Perry White it was interesting to say the least and he seemed to be a good fit.  Also, Kevin Costner's portrayal of Jonathan Kent was ok, it was ok not great, but just ok.  

What really disturbed me though were the overwhelming amount of action scenes.  Sure, you had the throw down between Clark and the baddies but the overwhelming destruction of Metropolis and Smallville was just too much.  "Just in case, we didn't mess up Smallville enough or Metropolis, let's mess it up some more!!"  Not only that, there was some tasteless destruction and I could've sworn I saw a few scenes that were reminiscent of 9/11.  It wasn't tastefully done and really it was too much for one movie.   

What really got me was the one thing Clark did that angered me.   If you don't want to be spoiled turn your head.   He snapped Zod's neck which to me is the one thing that is so unlike Superman to me that it just unthinkable!! 

*****

Granted, I've never read the comics and maybe Supes does something like this but I just feel Man of Steel was not Superman.  It didn't speak to me like the other movies have in the past and it's sad that I think that way but I will not call this movie Superman.  It didn't feel like it, didn't act like it and as a Superman fan, I was sorely dissappointed.

A long long time ago in a Raleigh far away (Wierd Al concert)

That was totally wicked!!!

The 501st was once again invited to be up on stage during Al's encore of The Saga Begins and of course the call for troops was put out.   Granted,  I didn't get to troop in costume because they didn't want guards (we are low on the totem pole of trooping) but I did get to help wrangle and take pictures for our guys that were trooping this event.

The fun part besides helping the guys suit up and troop was getting to hear his music live.  Granted, I know he writes parodies but they were funny.  I was hoping to hear two of my favorite songs besides The Saga Begins,  Amish Paradise and Ebay.  Al, delivered and his show made me laugh which is something that I need these days since I've been dealing with a lot in my life.  Not to mention feelings for guys which they have started to notice me since surgery.  Anyways, back on topic.

So being a 501st member,  I was able to wrangle for our group backstage which they did rehearse for their small part in Saga Begins.  I was so happy to help out and watch them rehearse backstage along with Gene's wife Dee and his oldest daughter.  I have some great pictures of them rehearsing in our small but hot dressing room and yes, Gene did stand in for Al during the rehearsals which got me laughing.  Granted, people said I didn't look happy to be wrangling but I was!! I have that silent but deadly look about me and yes though I didn't get to troop in the guard I was guarding my troops!!!

So we got to watch some of the show from the side but because of Fire Codes we were asked to either go have a seat or go somewhere else.  We went back to the dressing room and about an hour into the show everyone suited up.  This is where wranglers play a vital role since TK's can't bend over, Boba, or other characters so if they needed shin guards, I got them, if they needed me to adjust neck seals, put on back plates, backpacks and other things.  We even had a missing trooper so out into the crowd I went to go to look for him and he made it in time to be on stage with the others.  Before they went on stage I really got a great shot of the guys backstage about to go on before I found my way up to the balcony at that point Al performed Amish Paradise and I enjoyed every single second of it.


Finally, after a few more songs the guys came on stage with Chewie, we had troopers, Vader, Chewie and Boba and they were a hit.  I was cheering for Al but I was also cheering for our guys and though I got some shots of them on stage, they weren't that great.  Anyways, they were a hit on stage with Al and I loved watching our troops on stage with Weird Al doing their trooping thing as I call it.

After Saga Begins they went to the lobby where they took pictures and they looked great.  I'll have to come back and edit this post when my photobucket will be cooperative and I can finish uploading the rest of the pictures.  When we got back to the dressing room and suited down Al and his manager came to thank us and we got autographs and pictures with him.

Overall, this event was one of my favorites even if I didn't get to troop it!!

-Jane

Jedi Training

For those of you that may not be aware or haven't heard because you've joined my friends list or something like that.  I am a lapband patient meaning at one time I was morbidly obese.  I'm not going to lie, it sucked I mean it really sucked not being able to move, no mobility or limited mobility and an unquenchable appetite.  It didn't happen overnight, the obesity that is, it happened over several years.  Meaning that, I had an emotional void so I filled that void with food and then when I felt guilty, I ate more and more causing my weight to balloon to a whopping 320 pounds at my heaviest.  I didn't have many friends and I was a loner because like most people who are overweight, I was very self conscious and wanted to hide myself from the world.

However, I realized that I was missing out relationships, going out, buying clothes, getting makeup done, not going to Cons and hanging out with my friends or branching out into other costuming areas other than Star Wars.  Yes, 10 years ago I bought my first Royal Guard and the purpose of that was because I wanted to hide my weight while still showing I was a Star Wars fan.  Up until three years ago I learned to live with my heaviest, no hope, no chance of having a relationship, I might as well live in a closet because I hated myself so much that if Palpatine himself was courting another apprentice or a Dark Jedi I would have said where do I sign though probably because I was so fat, he would've declined.   

Then my world parted and I pursued WLS or Weight Loss Surgery.  I had never considered surgery of that type because my Uncle Phil, who recently passed had the Gastric and I was scared.  In addition, to the Gastric I had heard stories that should I ever get into a relationship, I would have severe complications with the pregnancy so I decided on the lapband.  I met my surgeon in the spring of 2011 and on June 29, 2011 after meeting all requirements and the liquid 2 week diet, I had my surgery done.  I lost about 60 pounds easily and continued to shed another 90 after that.  

However, I've hit a plateau and rock bottom I know I gained at least 20 back this past year because of stress at work and haven't gone for the fills as I should have but now I'm back on track working out walking 5 miles a day and considering that my Jedi training.  Yeah yeah fanboys I know Luke was well on his way to becoming a Jedi in ROTJ but my point is that this weight loss fight can not be fought on it's own with just food restriction, you need exercise.  

This summer my plan is to walk the 2.5 miles around my Parents subdivision in the morning, 2.5 at night, and then swim, then bike the 2.5 miles.  I know my body is going to go through hell but I'm willing to sacrifice to the demons to become an Angel.  

I am heading to my surgeon on Monday for a fill and I know I'm gonna get lectured...boy am I going to get lectured but at least I know that my problems stem from emotional ones and physical stresses.  However, I am continuing the fight against that and my goal is to get down to a size 12 by the end of summer.  I can live with a size 12....I can't live with a size 16 which I'm currently at right now.   So yes, I am about to go on another mile walk my second for today but I am going to win this fight.

******

Edit at 2:16 so far today I've walked four miles, getting ready to walk again in a bit.  I never did tell you my workout music.  Surprisingly, I listen to the Rocky IV soundtrack minus a few songs that just don't cut it for me because they aren't workout but mostly everything from Burning Heart to Hearts on Fire to Eye of the Tiger, No Easy Way Out and Sweetest Victory are the songs that I have on repeat when I walk. Who says girls can't listen to that soundtrack and it's one of my favorite movies!   Also, I listen to Pink's "Try" which is an anthem for me because I fell down this year in terms of my WL but I'm getting right back and fighting back.  My goal is to have Dark Phoenix ready by HeroesCon 2014 if I'm not working part-time to pay off Student Loan debts.

Keep walking!!

-Jane

Animazement 2013

Three Words:  Oh My God!!!

Forgive me lord for using your name in vain but I had a freaking blast yesterday.  Granted, I am not big into Anime other than Sailor Moon and have some knowledge of Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z to keep me afloat but I heard this was a con that wasn't to be missed.  Also, I wanted to debut Luke yesterday in time for Return of the Jedi's 30th Anniversary and yes, he did make his debut and I loved every single second of it.

So I met with Kim and Mary for breakfast even though I had already eaten on the ride up and just sitting in the Deli where they had their breakfast I saw all sorts of costumes going by from the different Anime's, Mangas and then I got excited when I saw the different Doctor's going by.   I was squeeing and even before I got my badge, heck even before I got into costume I was excited.  I think Kim and Mary could tell that I was enjoying what I was seeing even before we even got into costume.  Granted, the line outside the convention center stretched around the block for all the new registrants but still the 45 was worth it to see everyone in costume.

So we went up to the room and got changed I seriously was geeking out looking at all the costumes going over to the convention center from the Marriott.  Once I got into costume, I was fangirling because I had been waiting to be Luke from ROTJ ever since I was a little girl.  I was just GAH I don't know how to put it other than very very happy.  The only part, was the boots on Luke are the hard equestrian boots that really have no room for movement and I got a war wound but once I wore them for a bit I was fine.

A lot of people didn't know who I was which was fine but I was seriously geeking out waiting in line for my badge.  Once I got in, the pictures didn't stop and I got in character.  I managed to meet up with my friends Tom, Chris Burnside, and Steve from the 105th and the picture taking began.  I also looked out of the corner of my eye after getting my badge at the Sailor Moon shoots.  I loved looked at the Senshi and I was geeking out at all the Senshi that were there.  I'm hoping that once I drop 50 more pounds that maybe next year I will do Dark Mercury from Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon.  I got a few pictures in the morning and even dueled with Steve a little.  By the way Steve great DARTH MAUL!!! I know you will get in and you were a hit with the Con Goers.  In addition, Chris Burnside took a lot of pictures and I was just geeking out with everyone and everything there.  After the 105th main shoot, I met up with my friend Brandon and he and I walked over to get Lunch.  By that time, my feet were killing me and I had had enough of the Luke boots so yes, Rebel Legion and costume purists I went to my guard boots which are black, tall and styled just slightly different but at least I was comfortable.

So afterwards, Brandon and I hung out in the lobby of the Marriott watching the various costumes going to and from the hotel over to the convention center.  I have to say Animazement spilled over beyond the convention center but also onto Fayetteville Street, and even over by the Performing Arts center which makes it the largest con I've ever been to.  After the 105th Star Wars shoot, and hanging around some more,  Steve, Maggie, Renee and a few other friends and I went to Tir Na Nog which is a great Irish pub in downtown Raleigh.  Steve and I, as well as Renee and a few others were still in costume when we went in and had dinner.  I ended up splitting Nachos with Maggie since as a lapband paitent I can't eat that much. One small plateful I was good to go for an hour or so of pictures.  The only downside, was that my lightsaber died and I forgot to bring the extra batteries.

Oh there is so much from the  con that I can go on about.  Brandon and I did spend a lot of time watching the costumers go by and yes, I saw a lot of my friends there.  I was just geeking out because I have never been to a con of that size before but wow.  In addition, if Ryan Glitch were to bring Sci-Fi Speed Dating to this con, I'd bet he'd get a great response.  Hint. Hint. Hint!!  At dinner, we had an interesting conversation about how us old timers don't go to the Con Dances because we're too tired by the end of the night.  I thought it was funny but yeah, we were tired at least I was and I didn't want to see the damage that the Luke boots did to my heel.  My left heel and foot is fine but obviously I didn't do the sock right on Luke's right boot so yeah I got a nice little war wound on my heel.  I also enjoyed meeting Kim's friends and hanging out with them for a few but really after walking probably 10 miles in one day, posing and having a great time I was beat and ready for bed so I drove home.  I left Luke with Kim so that way she could fix the collar for ConCarolinas and now I'm anticipating ConCarolinas next week with Tim Zhan and the others.  So bring it on and I can't wait for Animazement 2014!!

Just an add on the day after I wrote this blog, although I did Luke.  I probably could've done Amy or Padme.  However, doing Padme' isn't the same without a certain Jedi there.  I'll say no more about that but for those of you that want to know, I'll never tell.  ;)

-Jane

Geekdom at Work

"Yeah I'm gonna need for you to come in on Saturday too, mmm that would be great ok?"

There is a fine line between our Geek life and our Work/Family life.  Sometimes the line becomes blurred or doesn't exist.  However, I was thinking of this because I was teaching my class about Barbara Morgan, the first teacher in Space.  I also had them pay respects to Christa McAffluie the original Teacher in Space Candidate that died in the Challenger explosion.  I got really excited about teaching my kids about the Space Shuttle program as in my spare time in addition to my usual fandoms, I like to study Volcanoes and Space in my spare time.

I found myself many times referring to the shuttle program as it's STS-designation and explaining what went into a launch, orbital entry, re-entry and preparations for new flights.  I really got into it and even caught myself humming the Star Trek theme which for some reason, when talking about the NASA Space Programs (Mercury, Gemini, Apollo and Shuttles) comes to mind rather than the Star Wars theme.  Anyways, at work I do use a lot of fandom/geekisms to get through the day.  Granted, I can't do some of the more PG-13 stuff because I teach Elementary students but yes, I have used Doctor Who, Star Wars, Star Trek,  and other geek references when I'm teaching.  Sometimes, when  I teach I find myself slipping into The Doctor's personality, including the Eighth, Ninth, Tenth, and Eleventh personalities.  For example, I have used Allonsy, Wibbly Wobbly and Fantastic in the fashion of the Ninth and Tenth Doctors.  I have also used Star Wars references and even wear my Celebration lanyard around my neck with my minuature Anakin hanging from it.  At one time, I had my Yoda on my desk along with ET and constantly during some lessons I play the John Williams music.

There have been times when I have subconsiously taken my Sonic Screwdriver into work and yes I've hidden it from the kids but I guess I needed something to keep me occupied.  I know that some of you who work in cubicles or in offices have your office decorated with items from your favorite fandoms.  I know a few of my friends have their cubicles decorated Star Wars style, some comic style and some who have Lord of the Rings memorabilia.  I think if I had a cubicle I would paint my stapler red as a homage to Office Space.

Heck, if I could to teach I'd walk into work dressed as The Doctor, or a Jedi, or someone to get the point across to my kids about the lesson they are to learn.  Still, I think the geekdom/fandom parts of our lives are starting to catch up to us at work and as long as it doesn't violate dress code or workplace rules I think it's ok to be a geek at work.

-Till Next Time,

Jane

Pouring it all into Padme'

Happy Revenge of the Fifth Day!!

Yesterday, as most of the people in the Geekdoms know it was Free Comic Book Day.  I went down to Fayetteville and ran around with Nick Garcia as the Ninth Doctor in my custom companion from Doctor Who.  If I explained the whole plot we'd be here till next Free Comic Book Day but I did have a blast and in true Doctor Who fashion, The Doctor and I played off each other similar to how they did it in the show.  It was fun and not only that I got called Jean Grey, Rachel Summers and I think someone once called me Mary Jane Watson.  Here's the funny thing, the person who called me Jean Grey said that I really would look like I would enjoy the full Phoenix Force powers...umm he's right but don't tell The Doctor that.

Also, a quick shoutout to Nick's Dad who is an aspiring comic book artist (I hope one day he gets in or if he does it for a hobby, continues to do it!!  I might want a commission of the Ninth Doctor and Krista outside the TARDIS)  It was a fun time and then I headed off to Greensboro for a wonderful night at the Symphony.

Now any Symphony event is always a fun one to do considering that I love the music first and foremost.  Yes, it was a long day yesterday but worth it.  I also want to say that it gave me a chance to do something Star Warsy for the day and I needed a release from work.  I decided well actually didn't decide more like I had to do Padme' because the guard is getting repainted.  

So yes, there was a small group of us who are in the 501st/RL  Pam, Andrew, Alex, Thomas, and Cher that made it out and the Symphony had hired a group of kids to serve as Stormtroopers/Clones and Vader.  I won't get into that but for those of us who were in the RL/501st we had a great time and took pictures before the show and during intermission.  We even went on stage for the Imperial March,  and Cher got to go on stage for Leia's theme.  

After that, they played Raiders, ET, Schindler's and came full circle to the prequel trilogy.  Thomas and I did Anakin and Padme' although Thomas had a generic Jedi.  I used my imagination and poured everything I had into Padme's emotions as I spent the first minute of the song alone and then Thomas came on and I sort of coached him silently as to what needed to be done.  The crowd didn't know it but yes I was playing my part of Padme' to a T even as we went out into the crowd  but they said I had my emotions matching hers from the movie.  Which is easy for me to do considering that I am always emotional and I can't hide them as well as some people can.  Everyone from the 501st/RL was a hit and since after that piece no one was in the dressing room I went to change out and let me tell you about Padme...she is a handful to put on and take off but overall she's my favorite costume to do.

A note to Chad and Cory and yes, I know you had to work Chad but they did play Battle of the Heroes.  So yes, even as we were walking back to the changing room the Hockey Duel came to mind.  So I went to take off Padme' got back into my clothes I had been wearing for FCBD and as I stepped out of the bathroom I got several compliments on how Across the Stars went.  I thought I was in trouble because I have trained my brain to think negatively rather than positively.  I guess Padme' is one of those costumes where I can pour everything into it and really I wouldn't be the character I would really just being myself, minus the whole having twins part and dying of heartbreak part.

Till Next Time,

Jane

How much is too much?

Thanks to Ernie and Carolyn for inspiring this blog!!

At one point does one question ones geekdom?  At what point does it become an obsession?

I was up at Carolyn and Ernie's house to drop of my guard helmet for a repaint and we sat down and watched  "My Crazy Obsession" which got us thinking on how far do we take our fandoms?

Do we devote whole rooms to our Geekdoms?  Do we dress up in costume?  Alter our cars, our looks our appearances to represent the characters that we costume?  Eat, breathe, sleep our fandoms till we drop?  Some people do but the question is where do we draw the line?

I know that for me I'm obsessed with Star Wars.  I'm not going to lie, I've been that way since I've been a little girl.  I've got two costumes and about to get a third.  I have a decent sized collection only with 50 some odd Vader's/Anakin's plus a few of the other characters.  My whole apartment though isn't covered though with my collection because right now I don't have room or shelves to properly display it.  So it's boxed up in my second closet in my bedroom.  Someday I will display it again but right now I don't have the room.

Yet, there are some geeks that society says that take their fandoms too far.  Some dress up as Barbie all day and all night, have a collection of thousands of dolls, or some Star Wars fan has their entire house and then some devoted to their collection.  Not that there is anything wrong with that but does it become an obsession?  Driving us further and further into our geekdom, further in Debt?  Further into isolation?

I don't think I can answer these questions because I'm not a psychologist but I do believe that there are some that take their fandoms too far.  I mean would I seriously alter my looks to fit the stigma that a face character should be skinny and to more accurately portray Padme and soon my ROTJ Luke?  Would I put Vader/Anakin tattoos all over my body to satisfy my obsession with all things Vader or Anakin?  Probably not.  For one, I know that even if I got the lapband tightened even more or went with Gastric Bypass after lapband my body would never be the same.  I'd have tons of left over skin and even after Skin Reduction my body would be full of scars.  I'm also not a big fan of tattoos granted I tolerate them on others but not on my own body no.  Plus, being a teacher I don't think I could get away with wearing a tattoo at work or having one so that's off the table.

I think there's a healthy line that divides obsession and fandom.  It's a thin line and really I don't think it can be defined by society but rather than the person who is obsessed with the fandom.  Sure, go to Conventions, Comic Book stores, watch BBC America for Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Sy-Fy for Defiance and other shows.  You have that right.

However, I feel that if you do have an obsession make sure that it's a healthy one and have fun with it.  I can't tell you to stop it because it's not my place and two it's your obsession and you're the one that has to live with it.


Till next time
-Jane

Gregorian Chants,Beethoven and Halo???

As I was watching the latest episode of Doctor Who tonight, I kept thinking back to an earlier blog where I wrote about the Music Geeks.  I am very much a music geek though I don't play any instruments now I am very much a fan of soundtrack music, having just downloaded the Knight Rider theme earlier this week.

There is something about hearing an old Gregorian Chant, Handel, Beethoven, J.S. Bach that gets me stirring.  Every time I hear a Gregorian Chant, I am reminded of an old dusty monastery or cathedral lit up with candles at night time with monks walking through it.  Handel, automatically I think the oratorio Messiah having heard it in many performances including ones my dad usually sings in every 2-3 years and now yearly with his choirs.  For Beethoven, I love his Ode to Joy or Ninth Symphony hearing the choral strands and I want to thank my elementary music teacher Mr. Kleckner for getting me hooked on the classical music.

Since joining band in fifth grade, I have developed a keen sense of hearing for knowing which composer is which.  For example, I can tell that certain harpsichord  runs means that it's more than likely a Handel piece.  Certain violin pieces and concertos lean towards Bach, and Beethoven ...old Beets as I call him is just a legend.

Going back to the gaming music, there has been some epic gaming music coming out in games such as Halo and Skyrim.  Skyrim being my favorite game music of all time with the vocals sounding like something out of a viking or medieval time frame though music back then from a historical standpoint was different.  Still, I like the vocals on it.

Overall, I like hearing choral and classical music that is related to the different time periods and some of it I'm  sure has been represented in the different genres.  I know on Star Trek: The Next Generation  or any of the newer Star Trek series all they have to do is hit a button and boom you have a classical tune or theme playing from the computer.  No doubt it's the same in other shows but still instrumental music can have an overall soothing effect on the Geek Minded.

Till next time,

Jane

Radio Silence and looking?

So because I"m a member of certain costuming groups, I can't say much on the decision by Disney to drop LucasArts and close it.  Other than I enjoyed playing LucasArts related games such as Rebel Assault, Jedi Knight, Mysteries of the Sith,  Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy.  Boy those games take me back in the fact that my best friend Jim and I would get on MP (multiplayer) and play those impossible battles that you could never have in the canon universe.  For example, we did Luke ESB vs Luke ROTJ,  Anakin vs Luke ROTJ, Vader vs Maul (yes don't remind me about the comic), Obi-Wan vs Luke etc etc.  Still it was fun to mod Jedi Outcast and Academy to the point where you could play Episode III two years before the movie ever came out and then a little bit after the movie.

I loved playing Mustafar's custom map with a few friends and yes I did all three characters (Padme', Anakin and Obi-Wan.)  Also, what was highly amusing on Jedi Academy were the single player mods where you could play as Episode III Obi-Wan, Anakin or Darth Maul.  You can only imagine what I said to the computer a few times when I played as any of those characters.

I also played Force Unleashed 1 and 2 and yes guys I know it was another outsourced company like Raven with the last two Jedi Knight games but still.  I guess I loved seeing the LucasArts logo and with the cancellation of Clone Wars I think it's all made us a bit batty.  However, with the closings comes a bit of speculation so that's why I'm maintaining radio silence so that way nothing I say can get taken out of context, I won't lose my membership and costuming groups can maintain their positive relationship with Disney.

Radio Silence also means I can't talk about how I feel about the acquisition of Lucasfilm by Disney so if you want to know I can't tell you.

*******

So originally I was going to make Blog 21 an open point blog where I talk about any topic that you the readers wanted me to talk about.  I know I only got two so really I might have to hold off on Open Line blog till a later blog.

I will say this though, I am so sick of people assuming that just because I am not dating or have had very little interaction with male geeks that interest me that I live in my parents basement or have no interest in meeting guys.  First of all, I live 80 miles away from my parents and have my own apartment.  Second of all,  I'm shy.  EXTREMELY SHY!!  If I don't know you, if I haven't talked to you, if I have never met you and we do meet for the first time, expect an awkward silence period from me.    I'm an observer, I take things in before I act on them which is naturally me.  I wouldn't know how to go on a date if it hit me on the backside of my rear.  I wouldn't know if a guy was hitting on me flirting with me or what not, or if he's interested in me.  Granted, I had to ask a friend a few weeks ago if I was flirting with someone and they said yes from what I told them about the potential flirt.  That's how clueless I am about dating or having a relationship with guys.  I've only been with one other guy and well he broke my heart, and others have fallen by the wayside and it was more mutual friendship than anything.

There are times, yes when I want to be with someone but also there are times when I don't want to be with someone because I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again (No I didn't give birth to twins and then die a lame death two minutes later!!) .   I know with the weight coming off from surgery that some guys are taking notice and yes, thanks for looking guys, I"m sorry that I seem awkward to you it's just that no one has told me much of that dating thing or what to look for.  I'm afraid I did it wrong the last time so what will make this time different?  I'm trying to venture out there again, even bought some nice dating clothes that don't make me look like a grandmother.

*sighs*

Well I guess I'll go crawl under my rock again till Blog 22.  

Till next time,

Jane

"Your brother never told you about Knight Rider??!!!"

Sad but true.

As much as I love my brother Scott for exposing me to such classics as Dallas, Dukes of Hazzard, A-Team, Little House, Spider-Man and Incredible Hulk.  I never got to see Knight Rider when it first aired, well I couldn't because I was born in 83' but I'm talking about the re-runs when they aired.  Sure, I saw clips, bits and pieces, knew of the theme, knew a little about Michael Knight and KITT but as to the acutal plot, I was like a blonde (no offense to my blonde friends) completely and utterly oblivious.

In the past, I had seen Chad aka Jedi Knight Rider, drive his replica KITT to events and admired KITT from afar but still I was too dumb at times to ask about it.  Before the Hockey Game, my friend Chris and I sat on the tailgate of my truck talking about the duel and sure enough Chad drives in with his KITT which gets me grinning every time I see him.   We sat around and talked waiting for the others so we could go in and on Chad's phone he has both the KITT and KARR sound files and being at the time, I didn't know much about Knight Rider, I didn't know who KARR was.  I think I must have looked like a fool because I was interested but I didn't want to show that I was interested in learning about Knight Rider and about other things that day  (refer to Blog 19 err yeah) .

So after the Hockey Game, they talked a little Knight Rider and I was still a little lost but I hung on every word.  I should have  just stood up and said I never saw an episode but I kept it hidden; I bet I must have looked funny trying to listen to what the guys were geek speaking about Knight Rider.  Still, my curiosity had been aroused about the show so I started to look at clips on YouTube   Mostly of the theme and some of the action scenes which made my curiosity grow even more.  I had even considered downloading the episodes onto Itunes so that way Scott and I could watch them on our respective computers when I got home.

Finally, after talking to Chad the other night as to where I could catch episodes I finally saw the original 82' pilot and instantly fell in love.  I don't think I could accurately say I understand why guys like the show other than the car and the plot.  I like it for the plot and its ingenious storyline which I know with today's sex crazed, reality based TV shows wouldn't fly (Just look at the 2008 series, which the die hard KR fans have told me to avoid like the plague, as well as Team Knight Rider).   I liked it so much that I downloaded the pilot from Itunes as well as the theme.  As a result of work, I am only about six episodes in on Hulu including the pilot and almost to the one I want to see the first KITT vs. KARR episode, it should be a good show and Chad and I have been talking on and off about the episodes and he's been nice enough and patient enough to answer my questions.  Thanks Chad!!! :)

I like the show, I'm glad I'm able to appreciate it now considering that as an adult you can understand hidden messages within tv shows.  I am liking the characters including Devon (who reminds me of Old Ben from Star Wars), Michael (who reminds me of a mix between Anakin and young Obi-Wan),  Bonnie (who reminds me a little of Han Solo) and KITT who I haven't found a way or character to compare him to.   Right now, I wouldn't mind doing a Bonnie cosplay, I have the wig for it too but no jumpsuit.  However, I'm going to hold off till I see the series in it's entirety but I really really am liking the show.

Till next time,

Jane

Epicness in a Hockey Game

Phew!!

Spring Break has finally hit and I'm able to take a break from work and actually post something.  No I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth.  I've been so busy with work that it's been difficult to find time to actually post and update this blog.

The last time I updated, I told you about the Hockey Game that was coming up to feature 20 Star Wars characters and R2-KT.  Well the hockey game has come and gone and it was an Epic Night for all of us involved.  First, we had the 501st table set up with RL gear and 501st gear, as well as KT's notebook.  I love that little droid and what she stands for because I remember back in the day trooping to help save Katie's life and how the Garrison supported and rallied behind Albin during his most difficult time.  In addition, the Legion went all out to help him so really anytime KT is with us, it reminds me of our mission and her mission.

The big highlight was the duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin, which I spent all but three minutes rehearsing my part which is the fall and staying still for two minutes on the ice.  Chad, aka Obi-Wan or as I call him the Jedi Knight Rider, said that I was fretting for three weeks and worried myself to death.  Guilty!!! I did because my knees are not the greatest and my neck was still bothering me from the crap I endured last year at the end of school. However, in the final rehearsal I did a pretty good fall and not only that I kept watching Chad and Cory practice their routine from the floor.  I did it so that way they could watch their boundaries and from the rehearsals I knew that the duel was going to be epic.

So we went up top after the rehearsals to the control box where they play all the music and special effects and they had the Scene already wired to play simultaneously at the beginning as Cory and I did the abridged choke scene followed by Chad coming onto the ice.  During this time, my stomach was doing knots because I didn't know how I would do the drop especially with that bad left knee.  Also, they had the epic music for when Vader would go on the ice and drop the puck and to introduce the players.  All of it was St. Patty's theme and all of it was Star Wars themed.

We then went downstairs, suited up and came up top to greet the fans who were coming in to see the game. The temperature was warm outside so a few of us went outside to wander since Vader, Chewie and KT were getting all the love. My best friends Susan and Kim were dressed as a Jedi and Aalya Secura, we had Mandos, Stormtroopers, Tuskens, Scout Troopers and a few other characters there.


 Out of the Episode III crew I went out first and yes I didn't get much recognition which I knew, but it felt good to be outside and in the fresh air among the patrons.  Steve, who is a friend of mine from the 105th was also outside in my guard and he taunted me a bit which was funny.  Chad and Cory eventually followed and so they got a lot of pictures outside.

Five minutes before the game, two groups of characters split up and went either down on the ice or up top into the stands.  We saw the puck drop by Vader, the characters welcoming the FireAntz on the ice and then the start of the game.  During the first intermission, was the duel and yes I was nervous about making my cues but once I was "choked" by Anakin things went smoothly and the duel looked great.  Kudos to both Chad and Cory for a great duel with only 7 hours of training.  Below is the master video put together by Chad of three different videos from the duel and the other characters in action.

Afterwards, we went back up to the stands and did a dance off with a section.  We also went back down to the ice and walked it with the kids before we took our group pictures downstairs.   After the game, the majority of us went to Red Robin and ate dinner outside.  I also got measured for Luke in the parking lot at night, under the lamp.  That's a story that I'll save for another time but overall, it was a great event.

The highlight of the night other than the duel was the winner of the Jersey Raffle.  He was a MAW child who had beaten his illness and won it.  I tell you it really made the night knowing that he won the jersey.

Again till next time!!

-Jane

Updates, Crossplay, and Hockey Fun

I know I haven't been posting much lately in here.  I blame work and grad school for that but no harm in letting the world know yes, I am alive.  As for the geekdoms, I've been so busy that I haven't had time to enjoy some of my favorite shows including Being Human and Supernatural but hopefully I will be able to catch up soon. So no spoilers!!!

I have some good news on the Rebel Legion front, it's official after 10 years of being a member in the 501st, I have joined the Rebel Legion as my Mustafar Padme has been approved.  In addition, I have decided well more like convinced by certain friends *coughs* Thomas Gardner *coughs*  Kimberly Willis *coughs* and a few others (I really do love you guys!!  :) ) to work on and complete my Luke, Return of the Jedi costume.  So Monday, after going to two Doctor's appointments and running around getting supplies for my classroom I met Kimberly at JoAnn's and we had a field day getting fabric for Luke.  Not only that, by some chance I had forgotten she was doing a Mara Jade costume so now Luke and Mara will have an appearance at Animazement provided I don't have too much to do that weekend for work (*knock on wood*).  Also, Kim is going to rock as Mara and though my inner fangirl is jealous that Mara married Luke in the books and EU,  I guess I'll live with it.

So in what little spare time I have, I am listening to my Star Wars music, reading Tempest in the Legacy of the Force Series.  I'm actually enjoying the series and I'm liking the transition from Jacen being a Jedi to following in Anakin's footsteps becoming a Sith but for different reasons.   

Speaking of Anakin.  We will be having a big big and I mean huge, gigantic, enormous event this Saturday in Fayetteville.  Over 20 Star Wars characters will be appearing and in costume to take part in the FireAntz game and support MAW (Make a Wish).  Not only that, during the first intermission we'll have Anakin vs. Obi-Wan on the ice and yes, I will be playing Padme' for that one.  I will begin practicing the fall tomorrow night just going with the clip that we've gotten.  I'm looking forward to it because Chad (Obi-Wan) and Cory (Anakin) have been working hard since StellarCon on perfecting the duel and though it's only going to be a quarter of the one between Hayden and Ewan I'm looking forward to seeing the videos on Youtube once they are edited together.

So yay!! Also, here's a shout out to my best friend Susan, who celebrated her birthday this past week and will be attending the game as her Jedi.  I will be bringing her birthday present to the game and I can't wait to participate since we will be auctioning off a signed Hockey Jersey for the FireAntz and the proceeds will be going to MAW.  Did I mention that R2-KT will be there?  Yep.  She'll be making the journey from SC to NC first participating in the St. Patty's Day parade in Charlotte then coming to Fayetteville.  This will be an epic night for all of us!!

-Jane

Scatterbrained

Well this has been a very hectic week for me so I'm only managing to get one entry done.  First and foremost, I'm not worried about the views of this blog online.  I'm at 760-some odd views and that's ok I'm not one to whine and complain saying that "Oh my blog is bad because I got a few hundred views."  I'm not worried about this and as I stated way back at the beginning this blog is for fun and fun alone.  If it takes off great, if not no big deal.

Yesterday, I drove up to Greensboro to go to StellarCon for a few reasons.  One it's a con.  Two, we need to practice for the upcoming duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan at the FireAntz game on the 16th, and Three I needed to fix Padme's wig for said game.  I've been to StellarCon in the past and in the past it was a good little con but it has gone down significantly down hill.  I'm not sure if it's the way that it's organized or just the lack of programming but it really has gone downhill and I'm not sure if it's a Con that can be saved.  Maybe if the people from ConCarolians helped organized it it could be a bit better.  However, I will say that it was nice to see my friends again, Janine "Spendlove" Garner,  Chris Burnside, Cheralyn Lambeth, Allegra "Chainmail Chick" Torres,  Jada Diaz, Rob Readling and others.

I will say the only interesting thing that happened during the con was watching Chris train Chad and Cory for the duel that is coming up in a few weeks.  Granted, I arrived a little late but once I arrived they were out there dueling or being taught moves by Chris and they did extremely well.   I then went to lunch with Chad and Cory and we joked around which was good because I have a feeling I would've been bored out of my skull had I not gone with them.   Once we got back from lunch we sat around for an hour waiting for Chris to come out of a panel so that way they could practice dueling for another hour or two.  Again, they are looking promising and I can't wait for the duel in a few weeks.

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I will admit that I have been scattered brain the past few days overrun with things from work and just in the geekdom in general.  Granted, I haven't been to a con in a few weeks and I haven't been out trooping save for Raleighwood but there are some things that have been bothering me.  For example, someone pointed out that the guard fabric is supposed to be satin for the under robe lining.  Every guard that has gotten into the 501st knows full well that it's velvet, it's burgundy velvet for the lining based off of what we wear for our under tunics and obi sashes.  It just irks me when people ask me for help because I have the costume, granted someone made it for me, but I know what people need to get approved in the 501st with this costume.  Even though I've been quasi-burned I will still offer my help if it's asked for.  If not I won't worry about it.

I'm also having some issues with Padme and it's good on one hand and bad on the other I keep losing the weight from my surgery so I have to get the gauntlets resewn every two weeks .  I also need adjustments made to the back belt because I've lost two inches off my back and the belt isn't sitting right.  I'm still mixed about submitting to the Rebel Legion but I have friends that want me to submit so I will in the end.

I'm still moving forward with plans for Luke and Jean but I'm waiting on taxes to get back so that way I can go up to Raleigh and get the fabric for him.  Maybe when we go to Michigan this summer I might take Luke with me to get pictures in the woods where we used to roam when we went on camping trips.

Again, I'm scattered brained right now but at least I have an entry up.

Till next time---

Jane

Ode to the Music Geeks

This blog is a shoutout to the music/band geeks that are out there.  No matter how far removed a person is from being a member of a band or listening their favorite song on the radio/Itunes.  Admit it, in some way, shape, or form you are a band/music geek.  There may be certain theme from a favorite Video Game or TV show that stick out in your mind, or movies for that matter.

You may also have played in a Marching/Concert/Jazz Band or even join an orchestra based on your different fandoms.  For me, I joined band not only because I loved classical music but I wanted to play low brass instruments so I could belt out "The Imperial March".  We never did play it during my 7 years in band but we did play themes like "Jurassic Park,  ET, Olympic Fan Fare, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, JAWS, Ghostbusters, and even the Star Wars: Main Theme (which sounded nothing like the orchestral version)."  It was more than enough to satisfy my inner budding geek at the time.

However, there are some themes that even by playing them in band or watching the show that stick around with you for life.  For example, during eighth grade and into ninth grade I was on a Star Trek kick so I had gotten all 7 movies that were out at the time and watched them religiously like I did my Star Wars and since Deep Space Nine and Voyager were on I craved more and more Star Trek.  Granted, I even did my Romeo and Juliet monologue dressed as a Starfleet Officer and had fun with it.  However, what I loved about Star Trek besides the show was the music.  I really loved the iconic theme that would later transform into The Next Generation theme from Star Trek: The Motion Picture that is playing when Admiral Kirk sees the newly refitted Enterprise for the first time.  It's just something about the slower tempo, the brass and the string arrangements that make me geek out everytime I hear or play it on Itunes.  You can only imagine how Kirk felt seeing his beloved ship again for the first time.

I also enjoy the Season 4 variant of the Deep Space Nine theme with the extra oomph on the downbeats and I've always enjoyed the Voyager theme.  I really do enjoy themes put out by our favorite shows, for those that still have an opening theme as well as movies.  I geek out every time I hear the Superman theme and when the tv show Smallville would play hints of it and even in the finale episode I was a very happy geek.  I even get very happy at the Stargate: SG-1 theme or even the themes to Skyrim and Oblivion which I play on my X-Box.   I am also a big fan of the new series of Doctor Who so of course I have the soundtracks from Series 1 and 2, 4 and 5 downloaded on Itunes and just as you'll see in a few seconds I can quote accurately the scene in which the music is featured.  I get teary eyed every time I hear the theme from Doomsday because of the sadness it portrays ( though Rose is not my favorite character).

What's really funny is that when I listen to my Star Wars soundtracks I know precisely in the music the scene that it was written for and can recite the lines in the tones of the characters.  It's funny because last night as I drove home from getting my gauntlets for Padme fixed, I was playing "Shuttle Tydirium" again for the 99,999th time and I guess I was rehearsing for when I finally do costume Luke.  So yes, I was saying "I'm endangering the mission, I shouldn't have come."     I also have a tendency when I go for trips out to the Piedmont of North Carolina to play that song on repeat because the hills and foothills leading into the Mountains and Forests of Endor.  Yes, I know those of you who are true Star Wars purists are going to say "North Carolina doesn't have Redwood Forests".  It's not that, it's just the principle of the matter and darn it I'm going to play what I like the most for music on trips.

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So music geeks, I know you are out there.  Have you every played a theme from your favorite show or game on your instrument? You can bet I have tried and even have played variations of the Imperial March and Raiders of the Lost Ark on mine (yes I have finally seen the movie two months ago)..  I know that those of you who are the geeks that regularly attend cons and other events have probably even been in band and played themes that relate to your favorite show or game and have defined you as a geek.

Till next time--

-Jane

When Sci-Fi becomes Reality

As I drove home from a great weekend down at my parents place, I was inspired to write this blog because of all the technology that has come out in the past few decades.  It amazes me that every five to six months, we have a new release of an Ipad or IPhone or the latest Blackberry, Laptop.  It's funny because decades earlier everything that we've been experiencing was part of a Sci-Fi show or referenced in a drama show years before, now it's reality.

Take for instance, computers.  Computers were once the size of a classroom, even a house.  However, with the advent of 2001: A Space Odyssey and the original Star Trek.  Computers were rapidly becoming the size of a TV and by the time the 80's rolled around, the advent of the personal computer had begun!!!  Taking that one step further, we saw Princess Leia in Star Wars insert what looked to be a CD into the dome of R2-D2.  A decade later in the late 80's the advent of CD's had also begun and would steadily replace A-Track tapes and Cassette Tapes and even expand into the VCR Cassettes, replacing those with DVDs and now Blu-Rays.

I think it's fascinating that technology inspired by Sci-Fi movies, comics and tv shows has drastically changed our way of life and is becoming reality every single day.

Just yesterday, I read an article online how surgery is now done by robots and there is a bridge over the person similar to the technology used on Star Trek: The Next Generation and Voyager.  We are already seeing holograms or hologram like technology develop in China.  Infrared scanning and scanners are now being used by the military.

We are also seeing the advent of the tablet computer.  Can we say datapad from Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine or Voyager?  Think about it, every time we saw Captain Picard sit down in his ready room, Sisko in his or Janeway in hers, they had a datapad in their hand.  Does that mean phasers are the next in line to be developed?  I'm sure somewhere out there, we'll see phasers being developed or the equivalent to them.  In addition, I'm hopeful as in all Star Wars fans to see a lightsaber being developed that does what its onscreen counterpart does.  Just be sure that when they sell it, that they put the disclaimer on them that they may lead to the loss of a limb.  Speaking of limb loss, we are now seeing robotic arms, prosthesis and other devices come to aid and assist those who are disabled due to an injury work to assist our veterans and handicapped populations use limbs and nerves to be mobile.  Even microscopic devices (nanoprobes) are also being used to help assist in surgery.

One thing that I like about our technology advanced age is the development and redevelopment of MP3 players and cell phones.  I find it so amusing that my students didn't know that there was a time before Cell Phones or Ipods.  We called it portable CD players and Walkman's that ran on actual AA or AAA battery power.  Now, we can plug in our Ipods, download, sync and play movies, games, music or other media and have a 24 charge in a matter of hours.  I know my 180GB Ipod can play continuously for 8 hours and then be charged and ready to go again in a few hours.  I also love it how on my car I can remote control and listen to my Ipod through a USB port built into my dash.  Just think about the GPS system, a decade ago it was in it's infancy for general use and now it's common place in most cars and becoming a standard feature.  Some cars, even feature park assist and who knows?  One day they'll be able to drive themselves like the cars featured in Minority Report.

So why all this technology why now?

A lot of the scientists that are developing the technology are geeks just like you or I might be costuming or gaming geeks.  They were inspired by Sci-Fi shows and ideas that sought them in the direction of physics, technology, computers etc.  They wanted to make a difference and they saw the possibilities that were there even before their time.  They were going off a theory proposed in a show like Star Trek and ran with it.   I think we're going to see some major advances in the coming years and what was once fantasy is now becoming reality.  I can't wait to see what scientists are working on and what releases await us in the coming years.

Geek Burnout

From time to time, geeks like me suffer from burnout.  Burnout occurs when there is too much going on in terms of our personal lives or geek ones.  Every year around this time, I really don't care to log on to the 501st boards because of elections and politics.  I really hate it because that's when the elitism, bickering and overall nastiness comes out in our hobby and I try so hard every year to ignore the boards.  I go in and vote, game over.  Still sometimes it leaks over Social Media and even that I'm burned out of.

Also, during this time I tend to turn into a really bitter person when it comes to things that normally don't bother me in terms of Geekdom.  For example, a lot of my male friends on Facebook are friends with Sexy Star Wars Girls or Sexy Cosplay Girls.  We all know that boys will look but to me during this time of the year, I find it disgusting and degrading.  Not to mention the big green jealousy demon is coming out because I know I don't have that type of body, but really I don't want it.  I'm not eye candy so move along.

Also, Social Media is a bit of a burnout for me because everyone's posting left and right election stuff, or asking me are you doing this costume?  Right now after the way I'm feeling everything is off the table.  I'm just burned out and will be taking a few days for myself and probably once elections are over and the egos settled down then I'll resume what I love to do.  That is if I feel like it.

105th Con

This is a shoutout to the members of the 105th "Vader's Fist Pump".  For those you who think this is an offshoot of the 501st, Mandolorian Mercs or Rebel Legion, it's not exactly that.  However, this is a prop building/costuming group that was formed to help people get into other costuming groups like the Rebel Legion, 501st, Halo Builders, Anime, Steampunk and Marvel groups. Anything you need help with these guys and girls can help you or point you in the right direction or show you how to make it yourself.

Their founder James Rippe aka "Formal Vader" started this group two years ago on a whim and it has grown exponentially over the past few months.  I joined back in May or June of this past year and though I don't have much prop building or sewing experience, I love to go to build parties just to see what others are working on.  I also love to go for the socialization and just to hang around good friends and talk all things geek.

Though people that know me know that I am very shy, observant and don't talk much.  It takes a lot for me to talk at any event and I generally sit back and watch.  It's just part of my nature, I'm a person that takes it all in.

Yesterday, to celebrate the 105th's second birthday, they held a Mini Con in which I sat in and co-hosted a panel with my friend Kenya Thompson on Female Geeks and Cosplayers or as Formal puts it "Cosplay Chicks". We held the con at the usual place, not at a convention hall or center, but at the build headquarters for all of the build parties, Formal's house.   For those of you that wondered what costume I wore to this con, I went with Amy Pond from Doctor Who, Series 6 "The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon"   Kenya went as Tony Stark from Iron Man and we addressed everything from cosplaying, to geekdom, being African American in costume, to the weight issues.  Everything that I have mentioned in this blog we discussed though I'm not sure if I got my point across as well as I should've but I do know that people liked the panel so we did something right!!

Afterwards, there were a few other panels such as Costuming for Noobs, the 105th Game Show and Photos and Photography.  Also, I had the chance to talk to a few of the 105th members and they are doing an X-Men group.  I have always loved X-Men but with my extra skin and thighs, spandex based costumes off of the comics aren't for me.  Despite, the rushed and unappealing storyline for X3: The Last Stand,  I am going to join the X-Men group as Dark Phoenix from X-Men 3.  Granted, the movie wasn't what I wanted because at the end of X2, I wanted and hoped for the big flamey fire bird but didn't get it.  However, I am doing this costume because I love X-Men, two I think I can pull it off and three Tina and several others pointed out that I could pull her off.  I have that quiet, silent way that was portrayed in the movie but I can be very fiesty or quirky when agitated.

Also, I'm for other people doing the same costume because I have so many other things planned coming down the line Luke Skywalker, Aqua Georgette Padme', and Avengers Bruce Banner to go with Kenya's Stark.  Still, I had a great time talking X-Men and future projects even though I don't have the slightest clue on how to sew or put together simple things.  I even have trouble halving paper for my Second Grade class at work, imagine me cutting fabric (YIKES!!).

The panels were funny especially the Game Show, the Costuming for Noobs and Photography.  I really loved hearing the newbies take on what got them into costuming and what their feelings were.  So newbies or newborns, I welcome you with open arms to costuming and can't wait to hang out with you guys more.  I will admit that half of the people though they are signed up with the Facebook group I have no idea on who you are but anyways, shout out to you guys for being 105th!!!  Also, it was interesting watching Formal get plasted and face casted, no doubt the pics are posted in the 105th Facebook Group.

After our usual potluck dinner we then had Karaoke.  It was entertaining even though I had my Ipod going for most of the songs.  Yes, it was weird seeing  Nick aka "Captain Handsome/America" singing a certain song but it did put a smile on my face.  Now one of the things that I'm known for is shyness and when I'm alone I can definitely sing but singing Karaoke yeah shy.  I'm so scared and yes I wanted to do it to pull me out of my shell more so yes Formal had me sing Pat Benatar's "Invincible" which in private I can really belt it out but me being shy and unsure yeah....though I will admit this... I had fun doing it.

Of course I couldn't stay past eight with it being a school night but I want to say that I had a blast and it was one of the better Cons that I've attended even if it was 40 people.  It just goes to show you don't need to go to a bigger Con to have a good time.  That's why I like smaller cons because it's more intimate.  I'm not sure how I would react to a larger con say like DragonCon, NYCC or SDCC because of the geek overload and the crowds.  However, maybe that's the next step in pulling me out of my shell.

Again, I want to say thanks to everyone for being so inviting and charismatic   I truly enjoyed myself at the 105th Con and I look forward to more events like this in the future.

Shout Out to Sci-Fi Speed Dating

This is a shout out to my friends at Sci-Fi Speed Dating whom, I have nothing but admiration and respect for.  For two years, I've watched both seasons and honestly I'm glad that they are out there putting geek couples together.  It's also taking what I've talked about in this blog to a different level in not just showing male geeks but female geeks as well.  The past few episodes of Season 2 have been about female geeks and how we don't have to be sexy to be noticed.

Kudos to IGN for keeping the show alive and giving my friends recognition.  I know for a few months Ryan  Glitch, the president of Sci-Fi Speed Dating has been trying to get me on there or up to NYCC to possibly film for an episode.  I wish I could but being a teacher, there's not much time I can take off during the year to come and film.  *sighs*  Maybe Con Carolinas or StellarCon will invite them down here to do Speed Dating at a Con in the future.

So what makes this show different from other reality shows?  Well, it's showing how geeks together for starters.  Usually, it starts off with a geek showing off their passions, be it gaming, Star Wars, Comics or whatever and then it shows how a session of Speed Dating goes with that geek.  I really enjoy it because it doesn't seem staged as some of the other reality shows out there.  Not to mention, Ryan the host, is easy to connect to as are most of the Geeks on that show.  I can relate to them because I'm a single Star Wars geek.  I'm as about as real as they come in terms of geekdom.

Granted, my thing is not about being a Sexy Star Wars geek but just a genuine honest geek.  You can tell when they film the show these are real geeks not actors. That's another thing that I like about this show, the realism.  

Getting back to the geeky side of me, you can pretty much guess what I like in terms of my fandoms.  Star Wars, being at the top of it followed by Doctor Who,  Stargate: SG-1, Star Trek,  Skyrim, Being Human, Superman, and various others that I have mentioned throughout this blog.  I have a huge Star Wars collection and am now starting to acquire a Doctor Who collection.  I also costume as characters from both Star Wars and Doctor Who.  Tomorrow I'm even doing a con as Amy Pond from Doctor Who and running a panel based on this blog.  

Anyways back to Sci-Fi Speed Dating, 

I really would love to meet these guys in person at a con someday when my work schedule permits it.  I am interested in meeting an honest Star Wars, Doctor Who geek who appreciates and loves the things that I do.  I know I'm not sexy, I don't intend to be, I don't want to be a Sexy person because that's not me.  I'm modest, shy and meek outside of my geekdom and though I am losing weight because of the surgery I want him to look at me not for my body but what's on the inside.  In my various discussions with Ryan,  I have mentioned this when I'm looking for my match.  To be honest, after the breakup with my ex, it took me a long time to get over to trust someone of the opposite gender.  However, I think I'm ready to try love again and maybe one day I can find my Geek Match.

Anyways,  go and catch Sci-Fi Speed Dating and Geek Love on IGN Start!!

{Reposted from YouTube, I will take down if asked to}